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Review:Moonyxluna says:
Hey! I'm finally here with your requested review :) Been out of town, but you already know that! Let's get onto the review.

I love your descriptions of Sirius' first reaction. I thought the way you explained his actions were so lovely. The only thing that felt foreign was him thinking 'no!' - I think if you changed that to 'a gasp escaped his lips' or something along those lines it would fit a little more smoothly.

There talk soon turned to houses and what types of classes -- just needs to be 'their' instead of 'there'

The only think I would think about is try to think about rewording those flashbacks. I really like how you are having Sirius remember bits and pieces but they disrupt things because they aren't separated so at first I thought James was just talking to him from the dead (keeping in mind I just drove all day so my brain is a little slow at this point :p) so maybe change those first two parts to past tense? maybe, instead of - What's your name?" he questioned curiously with a grin pulling at the edges of his face - you could say "he had questioned curiously. Sirius could still picture the grin pulling at the edges of his face" - and so on through those parts. I like how you have it now (as part of the story) vs. cutting it off or italicizing it, which takes away from the flow with the formatting. Just an idea, though!

The other thing I noticed was the Remus stuff. I know that one is a bit longer so maybe that could be a bigger flashback but when you have them say they're going to follow him on the full moon - I think you should add a little something about the line Remus feeds them about his 'sick mom', since that's what Remus thinks everyone believes.

I liked what you did with the transition into the flashback of Lily and James' wedding. I thought that flowed so smoothly and the tense was perfect.

And then, the proverb! I loved how you related it in with Lily telling something to James. Sirius had it exactly right, leave it to James to remember everything Lily Evans says. I think you did a great job incorporating it in without it being forced. I also liked how you brought them to the scene, getting in trouble for picking on Severus - it seemed like a natural transition and I loved that.

The end made me sad! I know he's going to be arrested because of Peter even though he promises to protect little Harry. :(

I thought this was wonderful. It's so nice to see James and Sirius' friendship highlighted. All too much friendships are forgotten over the James and Lily romance aspect of the Marauders and they forget the sturdy bond the four boys share, especially the one between James and Sirius. I think you did a fantastic job capturing their spirit and flowing it through Sirius realizing his 'brother' is gone, and finding Harry. Great work!


Author's Response: Hi Julie!

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review this one-shot. I feel awful that it has taken me this long to actually respond back to you for it. I took a long hiatus from writing and the forums.

Thank you for pointing those out to me! I will definitely go back and make sure that they get changed/added too here soon!

I am super happy that the proverb worked and that you found it happy and sad. I am glad that you pointed out Sirius' response to James about remembering what Lily says. That was one of my favorite parts of the story!

Thanks again for such a wonderfully detailed review! :)

I hope you're well!


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