. i don't even know where to start with on a story like this and i'm trying to resist doing some mindless keyboard smashing to get my feelings across. This is quite a masterpiece here and i want to cry and sing with joy at the same time because this is beautifully written but it has this gritty haunting feeling to it that you just feel right down to your toes.
I really love your tone here and your occasional repetition of words and phrases. I think that really exposed Rose's feelings and gave them even more depth. I'm a big fan of ambiguity and being vague and love when authors can really pull it off well. I think that's what you've done here as there are so many clever details and hints about what happened and phrases that say more than just the words that are written. Also, it seems sometimes that writers just want to put it all out there, like they're scared the readers just won't 'get it' so they write explicitly and make sure it's obvious what's going down. I appreciate and love that you've trusted the readers to make their own interpretation of it and let them feel their way through your story.
You imagery is absolutely lovely and i love LOVE all the references to nature it was brilliantly done and nicely executed. It wasn't so in your face that you felt the author was shoving it down your throat but it was written so that it felt like it was guiding you through the story and very much belonged to the story. It really made the emotional impact for the reader that much greater. The emotions bled from this story for sure.
I think you handled this really well too, i think it was because of your vagueness and your tone that really helped with that because you nailed how someone in that situation would act. You're not going to tell other people about it easily, if at all, and saying the word is like poison in the mouth. It's like admitting that it actually happened and no one wants to do that.
The end! Gah! it was so brilliant and raw. When i first read through it, i thought initially that she was standing up for herself was a bit off. That she wouldn't have been quite ready to realize and accept that they were her own scars to battle. However, the second time i read it, it seemed to work better for me so i probably wouldn't change it, but my initial reaction was that it was a little off. However, not enough for me to not love this any less :D.
As morbid as this sounds but i love these haunting mad stories where the character is teetering on the line between life and death, madness and sanity, reality and nothing. I love those gritty human stories that seem to speak right to the soul. You've done that here. And i love the hooded figures which seem to be a mixture of real and not real, a figment, if you please of her trauma and can seem like a real person. I don't even think it matters what they are but i loved their entrance and it really pulled your story together and made it all hit home.
Great story! I loved being introduced to this and thank you so much for requesting me!
Author's Response: I don't even know how to respond to such a fabulous review! I'm just so over the moon - I am so glad that you enjoyed this! :)
I'm really glad you liked the tone, especially the repetitions - with a short, emotional piece like this, I feel that a little repetition is good - I think it also compliments the tone of the story because it's so devastating. Gosh, I love finding a reader who loves all things vague and ambiguous! I've noticed that a lot of readers like everything to be spelled out for them so that they really don't have to do any thinking and the interpretations and perceptions and thoughts are already ready-made for them. That's not me at all (it used to be, but I grew out of it really quickly) - I want readers to think, feel, hate, love, I want them to experience emotion when they're reading, you know? I like what you said about "feeling" your way through a story - it's what I'm going for. It's about the emotion and the depth.
I'm super stoked that you liked my references to nature. I'm Southern (USA) and grew up immersed in all things nature and so that sort of imagery and passion comes naturally. I love description, but I don't ever want it to be overwhelming to the point that a reader becomes confused or lost or disinterested, so I'm glad you thought it was more of a guiding force! Haha, the emotion bled from the story? I love that. You're right - that description is so fitting.
You've hit the nail on the head! I wanted to emphasize the fact that NO ONE in this kind of situation is going to put their trauma into words. And if they do, it's going to sort of tear them apart because of what they are describing, you know?
I can totally see where you're coming from with that - her standing up for herself is a bit wonky, isn't it? It doesn't seem in-line with the rest of the piece. I don't really like to edit pieces like this, but I think I might need to tweak that. Thanks for pointing it out!
It doesn't sound morbid at all! I really do love them too. I always like something deeper and more profound, you know? I'm just so over the moon that you think it's one of /those/ stories that touches the soul! It makes me all giggly and junk! :D
Thank you so much for the lovely review! I appreciate it so much and hope you enjoyed the read! :)