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Review:CharlieDay says:
Hi!
This story really intrigues me, this chapter really hooked me in. I actually can't wait for you to post another chapter, it was a fantastic start!
The adjective use in this chapter was lovely, it really painted a picture of the story. It sort of reminded me of a movie.
There was only one thing I saw wrong with this chapter, and it really is a very small issue-
there was a 1. right at the start of the very first paragraph. Was it meant to be there? It just seemed a little out of place.
I really liked the way you didn't immediatly reveal that Scorpius was the captain of the Quidditch team, you just sort of let it reveal itself.
I also thought that the banter between the players- the beaters, Scorpius and Dominique- was really well done. It was humourous, but not in a contrived way. It made the story more three dimentional, so rather than just covering the sad aspects of Dominique's Quidditch practice, it kind of drew it as a real event.
I'm so so so excited to read more of this story, Charlie

Author's Response: Thank you for taking the time to review. Really glad you liked it. This story is kind of like my baby at the moment, so I'm always a little bit scared about what people will think of it. Reading your positive review really made me happy ;)

Thank you again!

Ooh, the 1. is just the Chapter 1 indication. Something like that. I don't know. I always do that. Might be time to change ... -___-"


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