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Review:Cavell says:
Ahh. This is an absolutely breathtaking story, did you know that? I love your Molly - she's so real and so confused and just... wow. I always enjoy reading Next-Gen stories because I love seeing - reading - the author's takes on all of the characters, and yours is no exception :) There were few mistakes, but I did spot these two:

but they feel like sand that keeps getting sucked away - you know how present tense usually uses verbs in plural and all? I suppose I just felt like the balance was knocked off because of this sentence, so maybe it should say but it feels like sand that keeps getting sucked away? However, other than that minor thing, I loved all of that paragraph :) Your imagery and descriptions are beautiful.

and I breathe exhale in relief - reading this over, it really should be one or the other, so either and I breathe out in relief or and I exhale in relief. I like the second option better, but that's just my two cents.

James was adorable :D I love everyone's James, and yours is no exception. He's a breath of fresh air for Molly - sure, a quick-talking, never-staying-on-one-subject breath of fresh air, but something new for her, all the same. I still like Molly, and her job - I approve ;) It's definitely written realistically, and the pacing is perfect for the story. All-around awesome, in short. Thanks for requesting, and good luck with the rest of this story and all of your others!

--Linn

Author's Response: You're reviews always make me feel like i'm a pile of mush! :P I haven't read that many next gen's or written any myself (this is my first proper WIP) and it feel SO good to hear people say that my Molly seems so real! emotions and characterization are the most important things to be concerning story so it gives me happy butterflies when someone compliments me on one of them!

Thanks, i'll go in and change that! :D and it is i exhale! haha, boy, i don't know how that little mistake in their slipped in there like a ninja.

James! I'm glad you like him, there is SO many stories out there with him in it, and although i've only read a few, i don't want want him to be generic here or typical. I think he's something that she needs at the moment, someone to help her though her life.

Thanks for your lovely review!! I found it really helpful! :D


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