Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:WitnesstoitAll says:
Wow. There is so much in this chapter, I'm not sure where to begin this review!! The writing was very enthralling and so I was so keen to get to the next scene and then the next that I don't think I did a very good job of reading critically. By all means if there's an area/scene that you would like me to look over let me know and I'd be more than willing, but for the purposes of this review, I'm going to focus on the things I enjoyed most!!


lolololol. Seriously, what not to love? I literally was laughing outloud when Lily was fake seducing James, and panicing about not being able to look away from his bare chest. There was something just so young and fresh about it that it was a lovely contrast to the grieving depressed lily we've seen thus far. I'm happy that she's coping and beginning to make forward strides. There interactions with each other seem very fresh -- though I was half expecting James to wake up and realize that it was all a dream. lol.

I loved being able to see Lily and her friends as well as her freindship with Remus. We know from canon that they are close to one another, and it was nice to see that here. Remus' story about his friend being attacked by a monster broke my heart. It was so moving.

Ahh! I know you said it's coming up but I'm very curious to see why Belletrix is at Hogwarts. Oh, as an aside, I do sometimes find myself confusing Lily's friend Belle with Belletrix -- it's not a huge deal, but something to think about when naming OCs in the future, perhaps.

The transfer student from Durmstrang made me laugh. I'm not even entirely sure why, but I kept giggling the whole time I was reading his conversation with lily. I think you did a good job with the party scene -- I know they're difficult to write!! I had to do one for new year's chaper in WAT, and ugh. Too many people doing too many things, so kudos to you!! I love that lily is jealous and love how funny James finds drunk lily to be. I'm sure he'll have plenty of blackmail info in the future!!

This is a great chapter, and like I said earlier, feel free to let me know if there's a particular scene or whatever that you'd like a mit more critique for!! Looking forward to having a chance to read the next chapter!

Melissa

Author's Response: Oh my gosh the Lily James scene with the towel then suffocating blanket. I don't even know how to describe how much fun that was to write! I feel like Lily's always either so sweet and perfect, or a flat out rude brat to James.. I wanted to give her a lot of grey areas. She was attracted to him, she's only seventeen and spent too long being best friends with Snape that the tension wouldn't have been their in this situation. She's experienced with many things in life. With prejudice because of her blood, stress because of her need to always be on top to prove her blood worth even if it's just to herself, anger and devastation when Severus said those words to her, and now the absolute loss of her parents.

But, as far as experience in certain areas go, they are both still so young and fresh. I love these two ♥

I am so happy you liked this chapter, you have no idea what your reviews have meant to me! I hope everything just continues to improve/heighten from here on out, writing and interest wise!

Thank you again Mel ♥


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 868
Submit Report: