Hey again! I'm reviewing this as I go along, so please bear with me :)
The introduction of Act Three Scene One makes me think that you had something else in store for these characters. All based on that semi-ominous line in chapter 1, and Montague and Malfoy's plan.
You're always hinting at a darkness surrounding Rose. As I read her conversation with Scorpius, I keep hearing the words 'every Rose has its thorns' in my head. They are polar opposites here. One wouldn't expect Scorpius to be so cautious, but here he is. Rose is definitely the dangerous one, and you don't even have to "tell" us. Every word use to describe her, all the things she says, proves that she'll hurt you one way or the other. I thought those were good contrasts to show as well. Scorpius obviously wants a simple life, out of harm's way despite his talents and usefulness. Rose always seems to place a barrier between them. He may have her, but it doesn't seem like she's truly his. Like her ivory tower is a pedestal, and she's just out of reach.
The most telling part of this chapter was the scene with Scorpius and Montague. The latter is shown in a much different light than before. Like the danger alluded to earlier in the chapter, it has now manifested into the words and actions of one Dorian Montague. It's much more frightening that he doesn't kill his cousin right then and there; obviously he has much bigger plans.
I like the allusion of Scorpius being the white knight - the saviour, one that was always pure (like his Nan's family motto suggested). He brought them glory, but now he wants none of it. I never understood the significance of that from the first chapter, until you brought it back now. From the perspective of the Slytherins', he's the black sheep.
Author's Response: Now I'm trying to remember how much planning I actually did put into this story. XD I honestly can't remember whether, in chapter one, I was already thinking about chapter three. I might have let it build naturally in some ways too, particularly with Montague, who is a strong personality and thus it makes sense that he would do something radical like try to take over Wizarding Britain. >< It's less certain, though, why Scorpius lets himself get involved - he's a strange character, very slippery because he's incredibly smart, quietly waiting for his opportunity, yet also naive, believing in something (Rose's love) that doesn't actually exist. I still can't really make sense of him.
Oh yay, it's fabulous to hear that Rose's personality came through without me having to explicitly say that there's something just plain /wrong/ about her. She certainly is dangerous, an example of genius that has gone too far, overwhelming sympathy and feeling, and it makes her impossible to possess. She is perhaps as close to a sociopath as I could write. Scorpius is fascinated by her because of this - his cautiousness finds its equal in her recklessness. He wants to own her, whether as a curiosity or because she fulfils his lack, I'm not quite sure.
The scenes between Scorpius and Montague actually ended up being my favourite to write. It was a surprise, as I rarely write Slytherins in starring roles, but this group ended up being so interesting, very complicated and confused in their motives, constantly and obsessively planning the impossible. I could have written a whole novel about Montague's coup.
Thank you again for reading and reviewing each chapter of this story! As I told you before, I never expected so much, and I really appreciate it. ^_^