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Review:long_live_luna_bellatrix says:
Wow, you've totally sucked me into this in just 1300 words. You would have had me at the beginning, when it was clear something huge had happened to Lily and you clearly weren't going to give anything away, but it just kept getting better. You got a fairly good amount of background information in, you showed that Lily had a pretty good relationship with her brothers, and just generally made me curious as heck. ;)

But the best part was the ending. By about halfway through the chapter, I understood the beginnings of what was going on with Lily, and thought I knew that you were going to leave it there. So imagine my surprise (and delight) when you bring up this mysterious "him" that changes everything! That added the perfect second layer to the story, and complex stories blow two-dimensional ones out of the water every time. (I just compared layers to complexity to dimensions, but you get the picture.)

The ending completely caught me by surprise, not only because of its content, but because it came on so fast. Don't get me wrong, I loved it where it was, and you did transition into it. But I don't know, it still came on a little strong for me. I think I would have liked another short paragraph between the last and second to last ones. Then again, if you had done that, the last sentence might not have had its impact. So I'm split. Maybe I was just reading it so fast I had to do a double take. ;)

Either way, great start to a story, you can bet I'll be reading on.

Author's Response: I can't even tell you how much these reviews mean to me. Wow. Made my day/week/year! THank you so much for taking the time to leave such thoughtful reviews. You were definitely one of the first authors I looked up to when I joined, and getting these reviews has just blown me away ♥

I'm really glad you liked the prologue :D I love a sense of mystery in the first chapter so I tried to hint enough that you would be curious, and I'm glad that you were. Background is always fun to write, so I had to throw that in as well :D

I debated a lot about the ending, actually. I never actually meant for "him" to be such a secret, but people really loved that :P And that is a huge compliment! Wow. So in awe of that. I'm all about subplots in this particular story, so sque! :D

Yeah, and I did think a lot about the ending. I completely see where you're coming from with that. It is a bit quick, but I like shorter prologues so I wanted to end it quickly. It's worth a read through though, to see if I could soften that transition at all. Thank you again for this loveeely review :D You should have seen my face when I woke up to two lovely long review from you; I still haven't stopped smiling :P

-Naida


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