Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:CambAngst says:
Ooh! A cliff-hanger! Sorry I haven't been around for a while. Real life and all.

First off, I love where you took Ron's character in the first section. He really is starting to grow up and realize that he has something special in Hermione, and that she's worth going out of his way for. Ha. He set the sprinklers off trying to cook for her! I love that image. His explanation to her just reinforced what I'm talking about. He's scared of losing her. Makes perfect sense.

And... she jumps him. Love the enthusiasm, but I'm not 100% sure that sounds like Hermione, at least in writing. It's a small thing, but I thought I'd point it out.

Ginny's frustration at not being able to use magic is a nice little touch that works really well with her character. Of course, her huge character moment comes later, but I thought it was worth pointing out.

Poor Harry! It's funny how he's so terrified of keeping Teddy by himself. In a lot of fics, he's written to be this completely natural dad where Teddy is concerned, which sort of glosses over the fact that he's only 18 and has no experience with children. I think your version is much more realistic.

Ginny does such a terrific thing for Cora and Molly, getting them away for a day. I felt some definite experience speaking in this section, so I'm guessing you have some memories to draw on here. Your descriptions of the hotel were very vivid, as well as the beach. The idea of Ginny and Molly frolicking in the waves fit so perfectly with their characters and the whole point of the excursion. When you mentioned Ginny hearing the twins' laughter in Molly's voice, it was very touching.

Ginny's explosion at Harry was a good moment for her, I thought. Not in the sense that she's worried sick and lashing out at Harry, but more in the way it shows how much she cares for him, in that intense, fiery Weasley sort of way. And something has gone amiss with the goblins? Now I really want to know what!

Overall, I thought your writing was very good in this chapter. I couldn't see any typos or grammar problems. Nicely done!

Author's Response: I absolutely loved writing this chapter, so I'm oober happy you liked it so much :)
I'm lucky enough to have visited a beach in England so I had a vague idea how to describe it. Also since I found the actual place online that helped too.
I'm really glad you liked how I did their away for a day experience, it was hard to write at first, but then as writing does, it flowed through. I think it was important to bring up things that remind the characters of what they loved most about the people they lost, I'm glad I made that come through in my writing.
Yeah, I don't know why people sometimes automatically think Harry would be comfortable around kids. I also really tried hard with Ginny here, I think she has more to her personality than some authors give her credit for, I'm glad I'm hitting that point too :D
This was a chapter I really checked and rechecked the grammar for, your reviews have been so helpful with little pointers that stick with me while writing :)
Thank you sooo much! I can't wait for your next review :)

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 413
Submit Report: