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Review:Erised says:
Your writing style, plots and general awesomeness has always been one of my absolute favourites on the archives. Reading this and its intense, frenetic start really sets the scene and tone for the rest of the story and is really a joy to read. You managed to create a mini world so quickly and effectively, I felt as if I were right there, standing and watching it all happen.

The dialogue was well placed and sharp, the plot fast but also well-paced, and the setting, though sporadic at times provided just enough detail for the reader to fill in the blanks. Your OC's were again developed just enough to give the reader a taste of what's to come without being an overload of information. A brilliant opening chapter.

If anything I wish there were more setting, but it doesn't detract from the story at all. Great work!

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