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Review:Aphoride says:
Gosh, I loved this. I seem to love everything of yours which I read... I should read more of it, lol!

I loved James in this. I loved how you didn't include any dialogue right until the end, until he shouted up to Lily that Voldemort was there - it just set it all up so beautifully and made sure that the dialogue felt as important as it was, you know? It's the moment when everything is ruined, it's moments before he dies... it felt so huge and it needed to.

I loved the whole stream-of-consciousness idea behind it as well. How it was James thinking over his life and about perfection and Lily and Harry... gah. I loved what he said about having two hearts - Lily and Harry. It just surmarised him so perfectly, all that loyalty to his friends and family and the fact that he's such a loving and caring person.

I also liked how you mentioned the Imperious Curse and the Order, and you included the idea that Voldemort had wanted him to be a Death Eater. It really kept the idea of the war included, and showed off James' morals and how much he hates them without spoiling it (which I have no idea how you managed to do, btw).

It was really, really beautiful. I loved it. So sweet and romantic and then... the ending... gah. Poor, poor James.

And, seriously? Your first fanfic? Pshaw... too good! ;)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Ahha thankyou so much! I'm very flattered that you like my writing :3

That was exactly what I was aiming for - for the dialogue to be more important because he was projecting outwards for the first time in the scene, after relishing the full life he'd lived so far. I just felt the need to give him that life, that rightness, before he had to fight Voldemort.

Ooh I am glad you like the stream-of-consciousness stuff - now, I worry it's a bit too sappy and rubbishy, but I do still like the emotions behind it. I've always imagined James as so full of love, and Harry and Lily are just so important to him :)

Hehe, at the time I wanted to put it all in context! I'm still not sure how it doesn't kill the fluff, but I wanted to show how effected James was by the war but how lucky he still felt. His morals are so strong and he's very sure of himself.

Eep, thank you so much Laura! :D I'm very glad you liked it.

TGK xx


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