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Review:Erised says:
This was a great, short-but-sweet and very intense snapshot of a story. I think if it had been any longer the balance of intensity would have been lost, so good judge there.

Elli seemed like a fairly-well developed OC, and it's interesting to see her point of view as well. I think she could have been a little more fleshed out, but considering the shortness of the piece there wasn't a lot of room to develop her, which is fine.

I really like your writing style and how you portrayed the tension and sadness with all the characters, it really added to the story. I wish some of the dialogue was better punctuated with commas and capitals, but it's not a big deal.

Great work! :)

Author's Response: Thank you for your review :)

I wish this could have been longer but like you said the intensity would be lost, I think out of all my one-shots this one is my favorite. I love Eli and she's actually featured in another fic of mine :) Thank you for the compliment and I'm sorry for the mistakes it's been a while since I've been able to edit. :)


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