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Review:Cavell says:
This was a pretty good one-shot :) You captured Sirius' grief at the Potters' death perfectly, and I felt so sorry for him. You make your characters real, and we can relate to them, and I really, really liked that :) It was a little short but since it was a one-shot, and sometimes I do it myself, I'll let it slide, because this was a wonderful read. There weren't much mistakes, but I did see these two:

Sirius sat slumped his back against the wall and started to slide down. - now, mind you, it was a brilliant opener. I wondered where Sirius was, where everyone else was, what was going on in Sirius' head and all that good stuff you're supposed to wonder at the first line. However, while I loved the idea of it, it could be phrased a little better - maybe Sirius sat, his back slumped against the wall, and he started to slide further down.?

This whipped the smirks off of their faces. - just to let you know, it should be This wiped the smirks off of their faces. Just a little mistake, nothing big.

Your imagery was lovely :) I felt like I was right there with Sirius, in his memories and then in the debris of the Potters' house. The only thing was that sometimes I got a little confused whether Sirius was in a memory or not. I would have loved to find a way to distinguish the two of them from one another, but for some reason, I can't think of any :p You tried really hard with this, though, and I really appreciate that.

A beautiful one-shot, and a very pleasant read :) You've got a brilliant story under your belt, most definitely. Thanks for requesting, feel free to re-request, and good luck with all of your other stories! :D


Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this one-shot! I am so happy to hear that you enjoyed it! I really appreciate all the wonderful feedback you have given me and I will definitely be going back to make sure I make the changes to those sentences! Thanks for pointing them out!


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