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Review:Roots in Water says:
Itís Roots in Water here with your review!

This was a very beautifully written chapter! It was very lyrical and showcased her denial of Lucy's death very well. I like how you showed Molly's conflict about her acceptance of Lucy's death through the repetition of certain words like "blue lips". It really brought her conflict to the forefront and made it seem real.

As well, I liked how you let little hints of the details about their lives slip through in the chapter without ever explicitly saying them. It certainly made the chapter flow more smoothly and it made the details fit more realistically into their lives. In particular, I think that Molly as an editor suits the personality you've given her: organized, detailed and predictable (in that she doesn't like surprises). The way you revealed that Lucy's job was a director was interesting - Molly's thoughts about how Lucy would direct a scene at her work and how Lucy would have to appear at the dinner that night really emphasized Molly's determination that Lucy is still alive.

As well, I liked the way you characterized James: confident, friendly, funny and supportive of his family. He seems determined to bring Molly back out into the world and I wonder what will happen at the dinner. Will you be writing the dinner scene for us to read? It would be interesting if you did for as of yet Molly has had very little interaction with other people - she's left mainly to her own thoughts. It don't think she'd handle being forced to converse with many people very well.

Furthermore, I like how you've shown, in more ways than one, how Lucy's death has affected her. Not only is she in denial, but she's changed how she interacts with everyone. With her forced sick day and the returned draft to Greene she's definitely changed her behaviour and it will be interesting to see where you take the story from here. You said in the summary that Molly seeks perfection and now, possibly, she's deviated from her sought perfection.

How will she react when (for she will surely have to eventually realize that Lucy's dead) she finally accepts that Lucy is dead? I think that this revelation will be occurring soon and it will certainly change the way she's been living. And I can imagine this change being a permanent thing, changing the way she looks at life and what she wants out of life.

All in all, I think that you did a great job with this chapter and I look forward to seeing where you go with this concept. Thanks for requesting and I hope my comments are helpful!

Author's Response: Hey Roots!

I don't even know what to say, i'm a bit overwhelmed by all your lovely comments! I'm really pleased you liked the choice for her job, i was going to put her in this boring desk job a the Ministry but then as i wrote this the editing job just sort of popped up into my mind and i'm glad it works in well with her personality.

I added that James scene in last minute and wasn't even sure how well it fit in at all! But it leads nicely into the next chapter (which answers your question, yes, i will be writing that scene). I wasn't sure how to write him a i've never written any next gen characters other than Molly. So it was new territory for sure.

The death of her sister does change her and her confusion of it also is warping her. Were that warping goes, only time will tell, but yes, perfection is her and now her world has been turned upside down and she no longer has any ground to stand on so she's sort of just like this poor flailing fish who hasn't learned to properly cope with anything in her life.

The revelation will happen... at some point but i'm really excited about what happens between this chapter and then. Thank you for all your comments and words! Gah! There were too nice! I hope you don't mind continuing reading this! :D

-zayne


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