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Review:SilentConfession says:
Hi, i'm here for your review request on the forums! I'm so sorry it's taken this long but life has gotten too crazy!

So you asked specifically about the fluidity and structure of this story so i'll talk a little about that first. I think it flowed really well actually and there wasn't any point that I felt like i had to come out of the story your telling to figure out what you were trying to say if that makes sense. It's a very good thing because it was smooth the whole way through. However, you have really big paragraphs and they are chunky and hard to to read. That is when i come out of the story and was always trying to find my place again.

Characterization wise, i thought it was an interesting dynamic you have going here. When i put myself back in that time and in Dumbledore's shoes i can barely imagine it because it be so hard to duel the person you love. Which is definitely something you worked with here and came up with the theory that there was no duel. You read that it was this famous battle that sort of went down in history but you've written it as if there was no witnesses and in one of their special places as young lads. I think it worked for the purposes of your story though and i didn't find myself questioning it.

I also found myself believing Dumbledore's feelings and you did a great job at showing his reservations of having to be the one to stop Gellert and put him in prison. It wasn't easy for him to face that because not only did he love him but in a way he was faced with his own failures (especially with Ariana). However, although he may have felt this way, i have a hard time thinking that Dumbledore would be open with it with Gellert but rather i'd think he'd be a little more closed off because he'd see it as his punishment for his mistakes all those years ago.

You even mentioned that Gellert was a little soft here in your a/n and i do agree with you. Although you've set up some nice characterizations for him as we know that he did later seem to regret a little what he did and we see that peeking out here and those regrets may have come from Dumbeldore here, i think he'd be a little... well just a little more here. I'm not sure if there is another word i could use but i hope you understand. I did like though how you wrote him as this boy almost who just didn't understand why people didn't agree with him as if it should have just been natural that people also see it his way. He seemed like an overgrown child here and there was a part of that that i really liked actually as it seems like he's juts used to having his own way.

I think overall you did a fairly good job with this and your characters were consistently written all the way through your story (this is excellent by the way because that made me want to believe it all the more). Thank you for requesting me, i enjoyed reading this and i hope that you found this little review useful! :D

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