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Review:hdawg says:
I saw the banner for this and the tag line, and knew immediately that I had to read it. This promises to be a good ten minutes well spent.

"Exactly. You're not my real parents, why be angry? In fact, I bet I'll forget all about you two once I get settled into my new life," I dismissed with a wave of my hand. "Plus, the Zabinis are super rich, super pureblood, and super awesome!" i am already falling in love with you all over again. Cliche #1

OHMYGAWD most fabulous name ever: "Mia Aurora Gabrielle Maria-Josefa Esmeralda Destynnee Purple Zabini. Hermione is just the name you were given while you were in hiding." Cliche #2

When I leave for Uni, this is what I will shout: "Oi! Old mum, old dad! I'm leaving. Thanks for raising me like your own flesh and blood and stuff! Bye!" I called into the house." and they will let me leave without a fuss like these two.

UNICORNS IN THE BACKYARD YES! cliche #3. But this, this made me laugh: "He was too good of a person to be very arrogant; I could tell just by the five minutes I had spent in his presence." YOU IS FABULOUSA!

I adore you. "Basically, there is no real logical basis for this ludicrous decision we made eighteen years ago. At all. Just on a random whim we decided it might make things more interesting if we gave up our baby daughter to a Muggle family and then take her back when she was older," he explained./"Oh. Okay. That makes sense." I nodded thoughtfully./Everything was just coming together! It was amazing."

GLAMOUR CHARM! hahaha. obviously my parents did the same thing to me, that's why I'm so beautiful, yeah? ;) you know it's the truth!

"I could feel my hair now gracing the small of my back." okay, I misread that. I thought she was growing a lot of body hair. A lot. Soz. My mistake. Won't happen again.

Curves in all the right places = cliche #7 (i'm losing count. If I kept quoting, this review would be longer than it already is) "Damn, I'm hot!" I whispered to myself gloatingly." I would pay a lot of money for this to be put into the films. Cliche #10.

This whole part: "Me being me and liking a man who takes charge of the situation, not allowing for the woman to have any substantial options, I strutted over and put my arm through the crook of his elbow." This is fantastic. Cliche #15.

And lololol Lucius and this line: "They were such good people; they had just gotten mixed up in the wrong crowd. Totally understandable. Besides, Lucius had hair to rival a centaur's beautiful mane!" I am now imagining Jason Isaacs as a centaur. Thank you.

Her 'kickin' tan'? That has just bumped up the 'Clicheometre' up to at least #25. AND OHMYGAWD SPIN-OFF RIGHT NOW: "I have a confession," he admitted and bit his lower lip (sexily). "I'm...part veela." PLEASE. (cliche #82)

A WILD PANSY APPEARS. AND DRACO'S LOVE AFTER TALKING TO HER FOR TWO MINUTES. SO MANY CLICHES MY BRAIN WILL DEFO IMPLODE SOON.

AHAHAAHAHAH (capslock is my best friend, so's you know): "It had been a most tantalizing snog./"Those leather pants look freaking sexy on you," he murmured as we pulled away from our kiss./"I know," I replied." You...I...I can't even coherently express what you have done to me. B m9?

This was fantastically cliched. This will forever go down in fanfic history as one of the best fanfics I have ever read because it is so bad (in terms of cliches). I will love you forever and will probably read this to my kids some day to make sure they avoid these dangers. But then again, if someone owns a unicorn, then they seem alright by me ;)

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