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Review:lia_2390 says:
It's amazing how you took such an obscure pairing, and turned it into something stunning.

I'm a sucker for captivating first lines, but yours was so simple, and at the same time it was relatable to me as a reader. It made me understand Hermione's plight before it even started. Another thing I loved about this how short some of the sentences were, as if they emphasise the abruptness of her feelings. They did nothing to interrupt your flow, and made more sense standing alone between paragraphs.

I loved your characterisation of Hermione, which is something I find very difficult to do - for most canon characters actually. She has qualities that stand out, they shape her, but at the same time she's a girl, she will develop feelings and no matter how sensible she thinks she is. There is always room for irrationality when it comes to feeling something for anyone else.

I am surprised that it was Bill you picked for this, but it sort of makes sense. This wouldn't do at all with Ron, or even Fred or George. Bill is one of those characters who carries a certain amount of intensity. He's the eldest of his siblings, he's lived, and he has learnt, but in all of his experiences I don't think anything has prepared him for this.

You write tension as if it was nothing at all. I'm so jealous. Honestly, even I felt it. The closest she's come close to being in a situation like this is probably with Krum, but back then it was different. He wasn't quite so forbidden. Because her interest here is in Bill, it adds a certain element of danger - enough to make it enticing.

Another thing that stood out to me was how Ron was written as the 'friend', even if she said he was her 'rock'. He still wasn't Bill - if that makes sense. I could comment on the subtlety of that relationship, but that's for another story.


And she never thought she would see Bill again. And that was undoubtedly her punishment.

Because she did.


This left me at a loss for words for a while. It was beautiful, and profound, and so many other things that can't come to mind. It seriously had all the feels. All the feels!

This was an incredible one-shot. There's really nothing more left to say about it. Thank you for writing, I really, really enjoyed it.

Lia

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