Another perfect chapter ♥
I think I love Avrille 100x more than before, just because she is so gutsy and so real. She's not defined by Sev alone at all, but is so her own person, and you've just magnified this independent feeling you've placed around her in the previous two chapters. At the same time as saying that, the way they make up at the end here, and mirror each other in their dialogue - so lovely. It reinforces the way they're one at the same time. I also love the way you have covered so much in this chapter but it is all just so entirely legit, and not rushed or anything. Woohoo, as we are canon nerds, I adored the way you paid so much attention to the headquarters! I felt like I was reading all over again when Harry first sees it, but from a different angle. Thank you, thank you! I think my imagination is about to explode withe excitement! The transition from GoF to OOTP is seamless, by the way ;)
The way you slip in little bits about Char is awesome (like Dumbledore giving him the liquorice), and it makes him so much more involved and reminds me how integral he is to the story and every decision Avrille makes. I guess that's a really important aspect, as with Sev, like we saw in the last chapter. Molly too, totally coming into her element with the child was lovely. Like I said in the last review, you working with canon - it's just amazing! I totally laughed out loud at Sirius, just because it's so rare to see him lose his cool like that. The exchange of words between them was honestly SO funny, just like a comedy sketch or something. Nice work!
This chapter felt a little different to the others though, but not in a bad way. I sort of liked that Avrille was being a little deceptive, and that her boundaries with Sev were shaken. They are such a strong couple, but the fact that they did almost fall out is so important. There's no better way at showing a character's loyalties to one another than having them fear for another's life. It makes me wonder about what other trials they are going to face, and reminds me that this isn't a fluffly romance at all. In some respects, I felt Avrille was being foolish in joining the Order, but when it comes down to it, for the greater good it is better to support the good guys than stand around on the sidelines, especially when it is something as important as this. I really did sympathise with Sev though, and I found myself itching to hear what he thought about Avrille joining to Order from his point of view - which of course made me read on. I wonder whether you will touch upon that in the next chapter :) I saw what you said in your last author's response, about how you viewed the books in a more adult way. Again, I can really see that coming across here, such as your attention to Char, but also the way you handle their emotions. Life experience shapes things we write, and I can honestly feel that in this fic. Every emotion is so developed. I mean, it's not just like, fear, love, horror, funny - you've intermingled them all. Just like real life :)
I'm looking forward to the next chapter, to seeing what Sev is up to! Nice work though, lovely. This is a real winner of a story! And, omg, no way do you have to nominate me! You're so kind - I just like rambling on after reading chapters and hopefully making writers feel a little more inspired! :D
Author's Response: Hi Laura! Sorry it took me a couple days to respond. It's a little harder to get online when I'm not at home with my own setup. Thanks for reviewing this one, too! I'd love to put in a request for the next three if it's cool with you, but I want to wait a few more days in case anyone else on TGS wants to jump into your open slots. I don't want to be a request hog :)
Squee! I'm so glad you like Avrille! I tried really hard to make her a strong, independent woman. I didn't want her to get all love-sick and passive once she and Severus got together. I also think she needed to be tough because it really is very hard to be a single mom to a baby/toddler while your husband's off working (believe me, I did four months of it, so I know!)
I get very canon obsessed when I write "real" places and events. You have no idea how many times I referenced my GoF book to get the timing just right for the third task scene (like "Would enough time have passed by now for Harry to have dueled Voldemort?" Stuff like that.) So I did the same thing with headquarters. I think I did a bit of a mixture with the movie set and how it was described in the books because if I remember correctly, a couple things like where the kitchen was seemed different once or twice in the book.
"it makes him so much more involved and reminds me how integral he is to the story and every decision Avrille makes."--Thank you so much for noticing and pointing that out! It's been kind of weird writing Avrille in this story because she has different levels of responsibility so I have to keep that in mind while writing. I can't just have her run off somewhere to do Order business whenever she feels like it since she needs to consider things like a babysitter for Char or how her actions could potentially put Severus in danger. It's been slightly limiting in a way, but strikes very close to home for me.
I'm going to throw modesty to the wind and say, yeah, that part with Sirius was hilarious. That was a scene I literally had in my head for YEARS, so I wanted to get the wording just right. Hopefully it also softens the blow when I'm a little harder on Sirius lately. I don't know if you're a raging Sirius fan, but I hope if you are you keep in mind whose point of view the story is in later, so you don't get too mad at me ;)
I felt I needed them to have a bit of conflict now, because in the first story things were very "new love" where they never had a fight, you know? But having a baby and being in a war's bound to add a little bit of stress, not to mention both Avrille and Severus are very stubborn people.
And you're GETTING a nomination, so deal with it! :D I'm kind of glad you're a rambler because as I'm sure you can tell with my own responses, I am too! Thank you so much for the review and insights! You're the best!! ~Renny