Hey there! I'm here with the review you've requested.
I think it was a very daring and creative move to incorporate the dragon prompt this way, by making Neville himself the dragon! I haven't read many of the entries yet, but among the few I've read, I'm yet to see someone do it like this! Also, I think you've chosen a really good point to elaborate on; now that I think about it, Neville truly began to change around his fifth year. And I think you've portrayed him well.
First of all, I'll talk about the plot. You've captured only a fraction of his day, one that should hardly be that special -he's just going home from school, but it turns out to be a day on which he finds out something that may change him forever; which is all very neat and realistic. We don't usually see such big days coming our way, right? I felt that you've moved through the various points of that day very smoothly and at a perfect pace, and that the events were well-placed.
It may seem weird, but my favourite conversation throughout the story was the one between Neville and his grandmother in the car. I loved how Neville strongly believed Harry and how, in support of Neville, his grandmother agreed to that.
Now, we move on to the diary entry which plays a very important role in your story. I think it really makes sense that under such circumstances, when one is locked up in their own house for a large amount of time and everyday may seem like the previous one, a diary would be kept in order to make sure that anything noteworthy is noted down. I especially liked how you've made Frank stress on how special the bond between him and Neville is and how he believes that he will be a wonderful "better man" in the future -it really is realistic and so fatherly.
The thing is though, although you've mentioned something about Frank getting an O in Divination, I found it a bit weird that Frank may have premeditated things that are so close to what actually happens after he was lost to Bellatrix's curses. Nonetheless, I can tell that it keeps things canon and all. Also, maybe, now that I think about it, this was just the way he hoped things would go so he convinced himself they would. I mean, who would really want their son to be the one upon which the fate of the world depends? Yes, they would wish that their son to be brave and play a part in the war and help the people, but to be its main player? No matter what, supposedly, a parent would care for their child's safety more than glory or anything else of that sort.
The grammar all over the story seems to be fine; I haven't managed to spot much. There was no more than a few typos, which are absolutely dismiss-able considering how little time you guys had to write and submit these entries!
So yeah... Marvelous job, Shortie! Keep on writing! And I'm sorry if my review got a bit long...
Author's Response: Omg THANK YOU sooo much for the long and sweet review *hugs* I was afraid of overdoing the cliche part but people seem to like it :D Thank you soo so very much for the review, for the very descriptive review actually. It's like having my own editor or publisher or... Sorry I'm rambling. Thanks a million *hugs*