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Review:Jchrissy says:
Hello, my dear! I'm finally here, I'm sorry it's taken so long! The House Cup writing got me a bit behind. Anyway, you said you just wanted a general review because it's the later chapters you are more concerned with, correct?

I'm going to say now that I probably will never look nor point out any grammatical error. You have a set of amazing betas, so I won't even worry about looking for that.

Shakespeare.. not a huge fan of him, but I AM a fan of Hamlet. One of his very few works I like. I haven't read it in sometime so I'll probably be spark noting throughout to follow the parallel ;)!

You have done an amazing job taking these characters and bringing them into a realistic AU. I love that you brought us straight into the plot and didn't spend forever on back story, it made for a wonderfully captivating first chapter.

I think your descriptions were perfect; I knew exactly what was happening without being bombarded with paragraphs of detail. I love descriptions, but I hate when they become so much that they overtake the story. Their purpose is to enhance, not control.

Your writing style in this first chapter matched the dark mood and undertones of this classic tragedy, I am very impressed with the way you have seemed to adjusted your writing style to fit this particular type of story.

Sirius... sweet, precious Sirius. Anything that has him in it that isn't a Lily and James instantly draws me in. I'm working on a L and J so I tend to stay away from reading them, but usually I miss out on reading about my dear Sirius, I'm so happy you have brought him to me!

I think you did a good job capturing the innocents of his youth. He doesn't know better than to ask the questions playing in his mind, he doesn't realize how dangerous they are. How dangers even thinking of changing the order of their world is. Instead, he remains the same reckless boy that know the difference between right and wrong, and can't help but question the two.

As you can tell, I have absolutely no CC for you in this first chapter. Hopefully in the future I can be of more help and actually make a few suggestions, but I think this was an amazing start and I do hope you re request, because I'm quite interested now :)!

Well done, PM me if you have any questions about my gushy non helpful review!

Jami

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