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Review:DracoFerret11 says:
Anddd, it's me again! Here with your last review since you don't have more posted at the moment. :] Please, feel free to return to my review thread when you write more. I'd love to read it. :D

Grammar/Spelling: Still a lot of errors in this department. The new one I noticed (all the ones I mentioned before are also here) was mixing up "to" and "too." So...beta reader, eh? :]

Characterization: Okay! We have Hermione, Pansy, Draco, Harry, Ginny, and McGonagall. Let's start with the smaller characters first. Ginny and Harry are only in this chapter very briefly, but I liked them a lot. I think you did quite well describing their reactions to Hermione's story about what happened with Draco. The only thing that was a little odd--Hermione accidentally said, "Draco" instead of "Malfoy" and Harry and Ginny laughed about it. I would think they would have scolded her more or said something about how they aren't friends, so they shouldn't use his first name or something like that. Next we've got McGonagall, who I think you're handling well. She's not as formal as I would expect, but she isn't terrible either. I like the way you've written Pansy. She tends to bother me a lot, so I'm glad you made her sort of obnoxious. Draco next! He's still way "out there," so I'm not sure what to think of him. He's not bad, but he's not wonderful either. In later chapters, I'm sure it will become clearer which way he'll go. And, last but not least, Hermione! I think you're doing quite well with her! Her guilt in what she'd accidentally done is very realistic. Good job!

Descriptions: Again with the details about how things look, feel, smell, sound, etc. That will bring everything to life, I promise!

Emotions: Great job with Hermione's guilt. And I LOVED how freaked out Draco was with Pansy. Woh! I hate Pansy, yay!

Plot: Well, I'm interested to see what Lucius is going to say. This cannot be good...Plot error though--he wouldn't have been able to floo into Hogwarts. That's not possible. :] Other than that, well done with this chapter. You're shaping an intriguing story for sure.

Interactions: I loved the awkwardness between Pansy and Draco. I actually laughed out loud. :D Well done as well with Hermione and her friends. Very believable.

I think you're doing very well. So far the story doesn't seem rushed or anything. Keep up the good work and request again when you've written more!

--Emily

Author's Response: Thank-you so much for your lovely reviews, they have helped alot!
:)
I will definitely let you know when i have written more :)


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