Hey, Ash! Goodness, I've been trying to get to this all day. Between work and trying to read and review some of the entries for the House Cup task, I'm only now getting here. But I'm very excited for this chapter.
So some big-picture thoughts: I really, really liked the conflicts between Hermione's desires and Godric's sense of responsibility that you set up. After he's spent so much time seducing and tantalizing her, it was a pretty dramatic shift and it brought out a whole new side of both characters, I thought.
"The man had, quite simply, the most amazing _ she'd ever seen..." - Wow. You have a knack for leaving me speechless, you know that? "I'll take 'Lines I Never Thought I'd Read in a Hermione-Centric Fan Fic' for $1,000, Alex."
Godric's thought process was, at once, so rational yet so primal. He knows himself so well, and he's fully aware of his own weaknesses. He can't trust himself to touch her. The way you wrote it was terrific. Every word was perfectly in tune to his personality.
The mystery man in the diner was a very intriguing addition to the story. It's too early to know quite how he fits, but it's fascinating to see someone who might be something approaching an equal to Godric, even possibly a descendant. The description you give us certainly suggests that possibility very strongly. The way that they butt heads speaks of their similarities. They both seem to be intense alpha males, unwilling to cede an inch.
We're so close to a situation where Hermione will return to a world that we're more familiar with. I know that it hasn't been your general approach to the story, but I do hope we get to see these characters immersed in that world for at least a short time. The squealing fangirl in me would love to see Godric and Salazar do battle in the bowels of the school that they jointly founded. I get a perverse, little giggle out of the idea of Salazar luring Godric into the dungeons and delivering a line like, "I have you now, Gryffindor! Prepare to face to fury of my most evil creation. Release the Basilisk... Um, hello? Basilisk, where are you?"
Author's Response: I always look forward to your reviews. You always put a smile on my face and point out the items that really need to be looked at.
I am glad that you liked the idea of the mysterious stranger. I battled with myself a lot about whether or not to add him in or not, but in the end the idea just wouldn't go away.
I love writing Godric's character, he knows himself in and out and accepts all his flaws. The more time out of the mirror, the more that we truly get to see him for the way he truly is.
I do like to add in a few surprises when it comes to Hermione's character. I think adding those few touches while they aren't exactly cannon bring a little something more to the story.
Considering the fact that I am making this story up as I go, and I am not exactly sure how it is going to end just yet..I think your idea of battling in the dungeons to be quite funny and I may have to keep it in mind. There are only a few more chapters to go before the end.. Less than 10, so things will be moving pretty quickly within the next few chapters. Thank you again for the review.