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Review:Aether says:
Great start to this story! I'm so happy to be reading a Ron/Hermione story. I haven't read very many, and I'm excited to see how you portray this relationship.

I love the premise of your story. Nineteen is really young to be having a baby, especially for Hermione, who I've always imagined as being very ambitious/career-driven. I can see all sorts of issues she'll have to face and personal changes she might experience in future chapters.

I really like how Hermione reacted to the news that she was going to have a baby, too. I thought it was realistic for someone her age to just bury themselves in their room. I can't imagine how scared she must be, especially since, knowing Hermione from the books, she probably had a whole career planned out. Also, Ron can be a bit temperamental, so I can see why she might be afraid that he'd be really upset about it. I was surprised, though, when she thought that he'd break up with her. I've always thought that Hermione was more intelligent/astute than that, but maybe she's just really emotional/scared because of the pregnancy. Those are just impressions from the books, anyway, and she could easily have changed as in the few years since DH.

You did a great job of describing parts of this scene. I really like when she was staring at the ceiling, and "she thought the blue would be therapeutic but now she just felt like she was drowning." I could really feel like I was in the same position as Hermione, staring in despair at the nauseating ceiling that on any other day might seem peaceful.

I think I would have really loved it if you could have added a bit more information about Ron and Hermione through dialogue or description. I feel like I could have learned more about Hermione and Ron in general. Do they have jobs? How do they feel about their jobs? How long have they been dating? How does Hermione feel about dating Ron? Do they have have things about each other that they love/hate? Do they have an equal relationship, or does Hermione/Ron seem to take the reigns on a lot of things? If their relationship is equal, what is Ron bring to their relationship, and what does Hermione bring to their relationship? There's time in the next chapters to figure that out, but I feel like knowing more about the characters, from the first chapter, can pull a person into the story more from a the beginning.

These are just some questions I could think of. Overall, this is an excellent first chapter! I really excited to read on...

Aether

Author's Response: Thank you! :D
I'm glad you like the start :)
I'll go back and try to add in some more detail/answering some of your questions!
Thanks again for reviewing! :)


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