|Review:||Cherry Bear says:|
Simply put: I love this. Every sentence seemed so carefully and perfectly constructed that I'm not quite sure what I can say in this review that won't massively inflate your ego. The pacing, the plot, and the characterization were all extremely well done and I don't think I can commend you enough for this story, to be honest. I'm looking forward to reading the other chapters (: But, before I do, I suppose I should give you somewhat more specific, less gush-y reasons for why I like this haha.
Characterization wise, I thought this was perfect for a first chapter (er...first act?), because you told us a little bit about all the characters mentioned. Even though Narcissa and Regulus play such tiny roles in this chapter, I still got a hint of their personalities and I liked that a lot. I also particularly enjoyed Sirius' father, who was so delightfully different than I expected him to be; because this is an AU, I sort of expected you to completely re-vamp him and turn him into this all-around great guy who Sirius idolized or something, and I liked how you didn't make him into this unrealistically perfect character at all. I liked how the first thing he did when he saw Sirius was admonish him for his un-princely ways, but how you still gave him a more tender side. Somehow, you made me feel for him in that one scene, so that I found myself actually sad at his death.
I think one of my favorite parts about this is how you've translated everything from canon into this incredibly unique alternate universe (I'm fairly certain I've never seen anyone do this with Harry Potter, and I gotta say I'm loving it). It just makes so much sense that the Black family would be in charge of a kingdom and I can't wait to see how you translate the Marauders into this - seriously, I am more excited for that part than you can possibly imagine.
But what really charmed me about this was the subtlety of your writing. So far, you haven't really thrown any plot twists out - everything that's happening is sort of standard formula, and I mean that in the least offensive way possible. And yet, you still manage to add your own little spin to it just by the way you write. One of my favorite sentences in this is: "Cygnus felt his lips stretching slowly into a smile as he thought of his late sister and her husband; all Cygnus wanted to do was make Orion happy again." It seems kind of random, but I just love how you can say so much while still saying so little, if that makes sense. In fact, I think that sums up this entire chapter quite neatly; you say a lot in a little. There's not too much description or action or anything like that. It's a perfect balance, and I can't help but envy you for that (:
And my other favorite line in this was: "Cygnus fell asleep easily that night, dreaming of a crown upon his head and his brother's kingdom in the palm of his hand." I just like how poetic it sounds, and the fact that you ended this chapter this way. It worked very well, I thought.
I think I'm dangerously close to inflating your ego to massive proportions, so I should probably stop now. Expect more detailed reviews when I can get around to the next chapter! You are really spectacular.