Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:forsakenphoenix says:
This was interesting. I love that Taylor Swift song and I think it fit this piece. I love James/Lily but back in the day, I used to enjoy shipping the occasional Remus/Lily fic, but I do have mixed feelings about this fic.

First off, I really enjoy your descriptions. You did a great job with the emotions in this fic and you certainly captured my attention with that.

I did find that you had too much plot for such a short fic. I would have rather seen it expanded as I think you lost a lot of the impact from each section because it was so short and not very detailed. The first part with James was pretty vague and I was confused until I read it a few times as to what exactly was going on. That being said, I'm not a fan of drunken!James hitting Lily. That just doesn't fly with me as a J/L shipper, sorry. :(

Remus's part was good, though. I love that Lily went to comfort him and she saw the demons he was battling (you spelled demons wrong, by the way). I was very anxious when you wrote his part, which felt like I was connecting with Lily's emotions at that point, so that was good. Poor Remus. Is he dead?? I couldn't tell exactly, but it makes me sad if he is.

I think this could benefit from being beta-read. There were a few spelling and grammatical errors and some issues where your wording was confusing. Other than those mistakes, though, this was a well-written, emotional fic. I'm sorry that my shipping prejudices got in the way with really understanding the first part.

Author's Response: HAHA! I totally understand your shipping prejeduce, because I do it too, don't worry :) Thanks for the help! :)

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 332
Submit Report: