Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:angel_speaks says:
Hiya!
Emesias here with your requested review!

The only grammatical mistake that i saw here was in the beginning:

“You accidently flushed you brain down the toilet?”

"you" is supposed to be "your" ^_^ I think this is was only one that I spotted throughout the chapter. Good job on that one!

Flow: I got confused somewhere towards the end because i lost track of who was saying what... the fluidity of the story was there but it could have been a whole lot better if there was a little more description on the setting, how the characters looked physically and who was saying who.

Characterization: I love how the best friend relationship between James and Sirius was highlighted through this story. I know that Sirius wouldn't be 'that' childish, your chapter showed that no matter how Sirius is, James will always be there for him. Also, I like how James and Lily's relationship was highlighted in the end. When they first started out as acquaintances, Lily didn't like him for his arrogance and became hesitant to show him her true feelings, that same concept was reflected here. So good job for that!

Overall, I love it! I love how the characters are, i love the plot, maybe just add a teeny-tiny bit more description to it and it'll be even better! Good job!

Happy Writing! 9/10

Author's Response: Ahhh. I really didn't see that flaw. thanks love. :) Yeah I know, I overdid Sirius a bit but I love him so I pet him too much :D Sorry. That' a major mistake I know. Thank you so much for the lovely review Em. Much appreciated :)

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 866
Submit Report: