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Review:luvinpadfoot says:
Aw, this was cute! It's a great little snippet of Ron's life as a father. All the little insecurities he has about talking to Hugo is great. It seems so real, like this is something he could actually be going through.

When I first clicked on it I thought it was going to be more about Hugo, but I'm glad it was focused on Ron with his POV. It was much better that way.

I do think you could have slowed the story down a bit. You didn't necessarily need more of Hugo's situation, but you could have delved a bit deeper into Ron's emotions and feelings towards the past.

A little more description might help too. Especially at the beginning it seems like some of the dialogue comes out of nowhere. Description would help with that a lot.

I think your characterization was great! Ron especially. You portrayed him perfectly as a father struggling to say the right thing to help his son and not further antagonize him. Hugo was also done very well.

The detail about the Christmas cards really made the story, in my opinion. Something about it just seemed so comforting and oddly sweet, like even though the relationship didn't work out it didn't ruin anyone's life. Just the perfect thing for a teenage boy to hear.

I thought this story was great! You've got such a great handle on Ron's character that I couldn't help but love it to death. =)

Author's Response: Thank you!

I'm gald that there are people willing to go through and review these stories, because reviews like this are what help me find the problems in my writing - I wouldn't have noticed those things without your input.

As for the characterization, I'm not sure what to say - I guess I just tried to imagine how my idea of Ron would act, but I'm glad you liked it.

I'll see about doing an update soon, to try and add some more details and slow the pace.

Thanks for the review though, much appreciated!

-RH


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