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Review:apocalypse says:
Hey, Mags! It's apocalypse, here with your review. It's about time too, isn't it? :p Sorry, I've taken such a long time in coming here! I've been too busy wasting my time and procrastinating :P

Well, onto the review. First and foremost, I think I'll talk about the characters, like you asked. Luna: I really liked her in this story! In the books Luna was slightly different than your version of her but honestly, I liked her a lot the way you've written her. She's more mature and way more cooler than she already was. :) I think that the main reason for that was the fact that you took her ordeals into account and made sure that sufferings were apparent in her personality. She's changed, definitely but that was bound to happen considering the fact that she had been through so much in the Final Battle. I really loved the fact that you took all that into consideration and based your version of Luna around all that. Great job! :)

Then, Dean. I've never ever actually read a Dean fic, do you know that? :P I didn't really pay attention to him in the books either. *grins sheepishly* But now, after reading this story, I forced myself to compare your version with the book's version and you know what? I was pretty happy with him here. He's way more mature than Luna, is impulsive but knows that his decisions are the right ones despite them being thoughtless. :P I think all in all, he was the perfect partner for Luna, especially in this story so I'm pretty happy with the pairing. :)

And Xeno was pretty well characterized too. It really wasn't his story, he was there for a shorter time but I think I liked his characterization when I was reading. The fact that his actions had caused problems between him and his daughter was something that anyone could relate to so it was good to see that you wrote that idea down pretty well. Dean being the middleman was the right thing to do. His actions actually told the entire story and the fact that he was doing this only for only made me love his character even more. Wonderful job with him! :)

For me, the description and the dialogue were balanced almost perfectly. I usually notice the difference pretty quickly but here, I don't think I had anything to notice. :) It was pretty well written and yes, did flow very well. The dialogue complimented the description and vice versa. :D It made me a pretty happy reader. :D

One thing I kept wondering throughout the story was why you arranged the scenes the way you did. I personally liked it but I was wondering how you got the idea. :P Would love to know that! XD I don't think I found it confusing in any way. I suppose there will be readers who might find arrangement of scenes confusing or disconcerting but I didn't. I loved the fact that you tried something different and succeeded at it pretty well. :D

The only small problem I had with the numbering was the fact that I kept forgetting what number scene I was reading and which number scene had been the previous one. Like I was at IV and I had forgotten what had happened at III because of other scenes in between so I had to go back and check it again. :P But that's just something I experienced. Pretty short attention span, you see. :P

Overall, I loved the relationship between Dean and Luna. You made it seem so light and easy, I enjoyed reading it a lot. One of my favourite scenes was the one when they were painting their place and Luna kept suggesting or bringing it awkward colours. It made me smile at her. She was SO cute in that scene. :D Love her there. Great job with her, really!

I loved this story a lot, Maggie. Keep it up. I suppose I should tell you that I'm pretty proud of you and your writing, buddy! :D Feel free to PM me if you need any help. :)

-Cal

Author's Response: Hey Cal, it's great to hear from you! And don't worry about being late. I totally understand procrastination...I tend to do a lot of it as well :)

Dude, your reviews are always so awesome and detailed...it's just so impressive :) I love hearing your thoughts about the characters, and I'm glad you like them! I did think the aftermath of the war would change Luna a bit. I love her in the books, but she definitely has some growing up to do, and I think a war would speed that process along. Glad you picked that up :)

Dean is based a lot on my headcanon version of him, honestly. But I did try to pick up a few details from the books, such as his interest in art and the way he takes care of the women in his life (Ginny didn't like it so much in their sixth year, but I think it would be different with Luna).

I tried to think realistically about how Xeno would react to losing contact with Luna, and I just saw him falling apart and losing hope. But luckily Dean was around to help patch things up for two people who just aren't very practical problem-solvers :P

As for the scene-jumping thing, I don't know...it just came out that way when I started writing it. I wanted to start out in the middle of the "action" instead of getting bogged down with backstory at the beginning. So I just ended up switching back and forth, and hoping I could pull it off :P I'm glad you enjoyed that part of it (because it was pretty experimental for me), but I definitely see what you mean about losing track of things. That was one thing I was a little worried about, but it makes me happy that you liked the overall result :)

Aww, the paint scene! I think that's cute too, and I'm glad it put a smile on your face. That was the goal of this oneshot, after all :)

Thanks so much for this awesome review! It's so great to hear that I'm improving, and I really appreciate all your encouragement. You're the best!

--Maggie


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