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Review:WitnesstoitAll says:
Sorry this review took me a bit to get done! Some unexpected things came up, but here I am at last. :)

This was an interesting take on Astoria's characterization -- more often I've seen her as a doting wife that becomes Draco's support beam. Here, she's very strong, very fiesty. I think that really made her character come to life. I was a bit taken aback by how, plotting and vindictive she is, but she has been through a lot. Your draco was nicely done -- though I do feel like you sort of got into tune with his characters the more you wrote him (especially his dialogue). Their relationship was so sad to read. I can't imagine being in either of their places. The ending didn't surprise me, but I think you executed the revelation of the knife in their relationship well.

My only real critique is related to your discription. I know at the start of this you were trying to describe Astoria and the setting and the like, but it was very concentrated there and then sort of floundered out towards the end which gave it a bit of a disjointed sort of feel. I write the same way... I feel obligated to set the scene and then let it play out and always have to be conscious of it when I go back to edit. Honestly, the one shot as a whole still read really well, I just figured I'd mention it to you since you were asking for feedback in your forum status. :)

I really did enjoy reading this!!
xoxo
Melissa

Author's Response: Hello! I am so happy you like Astoria, I have a very interesting head canon for her. I honestly see her as a incredibly messed up, sick of having to be perfect, and ready to fly off the deep end when her and Draco meet. In a way, they both save each other more or less. I've never seen her as the angelic form that offers him redemption, so putting them in this situation was really fun yet emotional for me.

She is very plotting in this, but I might have to take another look at it if Vindictive came across. Though I did want her to seem that way at the beginning, I was hoping to make it clear that it was really just her own facade to try and protect herself and get out. She could handle her own pain and live with it, it was Draco's that she couldn't stand. So by making him angry she hoped to make it easier on him when she delivered the final blow.

I know, I couldn't imagine it either. I wanted to write something about that feeling of the person you love not really belonging to you, but I also wanted it to be more original and emotional than just 'the other woman' type.

Ahhh I am so glad you commented on the way the descriptions do sort of slow down. I was wondering if it was my own self CC that noticed it, but obviously not. That's exactly what I felt obligated to do, also. As soon as things really started moving, I felt like I could let them be, but I do think I need to go back and add in more to give it a constant feel.

And thank you for mentioning it! I love CC, it is the only way I can get better!!

I do hope you understood Astoria's feelings, and that she was ultimately trying to save Draco from pain by replacing it with anger, because I didn't want to portray her as heartless by any means. Well, at least not until the end!

Thank you for your lovely and very helpful review, m'dear!

Jami


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