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Review:Deltaris says:
The look into the past:
I love your narration here. It feels as if someone is telling the events of the past, which is something I don't see a lot here. I absolutely love that style :)

Great introduction to the Potter children! I look foward to seeing how you develop their characters.

"You don't get very far, being the wife of George Weasley, if you take little jokes to heart." - I LOVE THIS LINE. George <3

Fred and Roxy are wonderful. The way they pick at each other without being sincerly mean or ill-intentioned is great. It's the way siblings should be :) And Dom! Oh my goodness, what a sourpuss. Unless she's just joking, hah. I get the feeling that she's not though...

Oh man, I don't get good feelings from the Ron side of the Weasley family. Everything up to this point has been an introduction; this is where things really start happening. I can see a lot of trouble coming from Ron and Hermione working out whatever problems they're having and the kids dealing with it. And once the family finds out? Gah, I can't wait to see how/if you play that out. The Weasley family surely is something chaotically special.

Ginny and James. Goodness. I can completely see this happening, especially because it's Ginny! She's always been like that, haha.

"Let's first describe Rose and Hugo, I suppose." - this line seems a little out of place to me. Only because although you've been using a 'let's tell a story to the reader' style, but you haven't used I/me/my before this.

Oh, Lily. I'm really liking how you're portraying her! The family interactions are great, as well.

Percy. Pshh. That's all I have to say about him ;)

Alright. This is rather long, haha. I love the style in which you're writing this. The breaks don't feel intrusive to me, and the heading of sorts before each section is critical to understanding what's going on and humorous. I really like this, it's a fantastic first chapter.

I do have a few notes, though. You seem to like hyphens a lot. There weren't any misuse of them in this chapter that I noticed, but you just might want to look out in future chapters. Sometimes hyphens, when used poorly, can detract from the writing.

And the last one is really just a pet peeve of mine, feel free to ignore me! You write out some of the numbers in numerical form, something that makes me cringe. I was taught that if a number is under 100, you write it out. Like twenty instead of 20. There are a few exceptions, like with the Platform. This is just me, though, don't worry about it! :)

I really like this chapter! Can't wait for more.
Del<3

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