Rachel, first off, I must commend you for writing this entire story without the letter 'e'. I've already used it 11 times (12!). I'm always amazed at how talented you are and to write this not only without the letter 'e' but also within 500 words! It means you must be concise and you have to carefully think about what words you're going to use.
I love the repetition of 'always.' Seriously. That line gets me every time and to see it here, in this context, it's beautiful.
It's kind of interesting to read this, thinking of Snape dying, and while it's not difficult to follow, necessarily, it is a bit rambling? Out there? Not that it's a bad thing, but you can tell that his mind isn't completely there - I am going mad.
My favorite part was when he kept repeating I am so angry and then I am so sorry. The first part of that - anger towards Harry for looking like James (and the whole '...of all that I wasn't' - oh my heart!) and how it was like he was being mocked...that was my favorite part. I loved it.
This is just so, so beautiful, Rachel and, you know my thoughts on Snily, but his devotion to her, the oath (always), has left me a sad, but mushy mess. Succinct and perfect. Lovely, as always.
Author's Response: It should be illegal to respond to two reviews of yours in a row. I am giving you lots and lots of virtual hugs right now, because your compliments just encourage me so much, and it's reviews like this that make me feel I'm doing the right thing by writing. :)
I took on this challenge at midnight, if I recall -- from eleven to midnight, rather, after a long day of being frustrated by a few of my WIPs. I tend to write one-shots when I don't feel like working on anything else, so there's that. :D And Snape comes naturally to my fingers (well, that sounds a bit haughty -- he's quick to come to mind as far as ideas for writing him, let's say) and I actually started this without consciously thinking of a narrator. His voice developed over the course of a few paragraphs, and this is probably the most editing I've done while writing in recent memory!
The fact that you, in particular, found this accurate -- that's really encouraging. :3 To hear such things from a writer I admire in turn is always so lovely, and it's really what keeps me going. Thank you so much for reviewing this for me (and sorry for the wait in responding)! ♥