I'm finally here with your review! Took me long enough, eh?
Before I start, let me tell you that this is really, really good! So now, perhaps I shall explain why!
Characterization: I love this! I really felt Astoria's grief and love, and I can see exactly why Draco would act that way. You really understood Astoria, which made her character very interesting to read. Both Draco and Astoria had such depth.
Flow: This was also good! Everything was very smooth and not one sentence was wasted!
Imagery/Descriptions: *claps excitedly* You did so good! I am so proud of you! This was just wonderful! I had a very clear picture from everything to Astoria to the bar setting. I really loved the eyes, and the way you described them. I had a very detailed and crystal clear picture of everything, and it really brought your story to life! HOORAY!
Grammar: This was also wonderful, and I didn't see many mistakes! I noticed one here and one there but otherwise it was great!
Plot: *jaw drops* I totally wouldn't have seen that ending coming if I hadn't stopped near the end and read the part where you said that the ending might be a bit of a shock. But even then I was thinking there is no way because it would just be too cruel. I loved the ending, it was so heartbreaking! Poor Astoria! Poor Draco! It was technically a love triangle, and an epic one at that!
Emotions: These were all also crystal clear. I felt every bit of grief yet love that Astoria felt. I felt terribly for Draco because he was just so...I don't think desperate is the best word, but it kind of fits. I couldn't even imagine being in such an awful situation. The emotions came across very strong and it was just fantastic!
The only bit of (MINOR) CC I have for you is this:
"ASTORIA GREENGRASS, Get your arse over here this instance!”
While I laughed my butt off at this, I would recommend bolding or italicizing it. See, its very minor, but there's just something about capitalizing it all that just disrupts it all. I suppose thats also the effect you wanted, but still;P Bolding also looks more...professional, if you will!
Ultimately, I think this was a wonderful story! Everything was done so perfectly and I felt so many emotions, and I pictured everything so clearly! This is definitely some of your best work and I am so incredibly proud of you! This is such beautiful writing! *hugs*
Author's Response: Darling, darling, darling girl! This review is so amazing, I couldn't stop smiling for hours! I've had to wait to respond until I thought I could tangle together a real sentence instead of just going.. EYYYAY! But I did it anyway, so... oh well ;).
I have to add in also, that your constant reminder of wanting imagery went such a long way for me. I couldn't believe how much fun I had with this piece, everything from the way her hand moved to the way she sounded was so stuck in my mind.
The ending is shocking? Yay! I was really hoping it would be! When another woman is starting to get mentioned, I was assuming most people would think of Pansy. Not darling Daphne. But it makes sense, why would he date the 2 years younger one, unless he had to, ya know? All thought I don't think she actually died in my head Canon, I think she was probably just a troll and Astoria was gorgeous, but the idea that it could happen was very fun for this story.
It was so great to be able to create Astoria's safe wall, and make her think if she could only keep Draco mad, she could walk away with clean hands. Poor girl didn't take into account how deep her own pain would go...
Anyway, your review is amazing, I'm on cloud 100 where I think I will stay for quite some time! I hope to get to dive more into the word of D and A soon enough, but for now Lily and James are back sitting on my shoulders bugging the heck out of me to finish chapter 6. Lily is quite bossy! Oh, and Sirius is begging for his 'close up' in this chapter. Really, I can't get these characters to keep quite!
Thank you again for the wonderful review, miss Ever! xoxo