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Review:EverDiggory says:
Gosh, I was holding my breath the whole time and my eyes were already filling with tears. I was just waiting for her to die. Good golly miss molly, thats awful I just said that, but;P

Oh, and it's Ever here with your review!

Plot: I am very much anticipating to see where you're going to take this! I can't wait to know whats happened to Lily and why Albus is so...off.

Flow: This was pretty good; I didn't see any messy transitions, so you've smoothed out the seams pretty well(:

Characterization: While he saw a lot of Harry, which I adored, we didn't see much of Ginny, and I would have liked to. I think you introduced Lily quite well, even though she wasn't physically in the story quite yet!

I would like to recommend just one thing: Try to flesh out your writing with more descriptions of imagery and the feelings. Obviously there would be a lot of tension and worry, and you should show just how tense it is. I think the descriptions really just bring the story to life even more, which is why its an important part of writing!

Keep writing, for I enjoyed reading it!

xx

Ever

Author's Response: Aw thanks! That's exactly the kind of reaction I was going for, so it really means a lot!

I'll try to work on getting the characters more equal time. I'm glad you liked the way I've done Lily thus far!

Ooh, thanks for the note on the descriptions. That's something I've always had trouble with. I'll try to focus more on imagery, so thanks for mentioning it!

Thank you for the review! It was very helpful and I'll make sure to keep your notes in mind when writing/editing!


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