Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:SilentConfession says:
Bah! OMG REGULUS!! *huggles him close* poor lad. I really connected to him here, he just so emotionally intense. He's just too adorable for words, really i love him and he's a bit wild. I really hope he's okay now though or if Cygnus is going to brainwash him and make him a puppet :( stupid Cygnus.

Cygnus, I think i really enjoy him as a character mostly. He felt a little flat in this chapter and i suppose i just wanted to see inside his head a little more and to see his frame of mind and his scheming(though he was doing a bit of that, yes with asking about the boys?). However, i did like how you wrote him and how he reacted outwardly to his brothers death. I felt like that was realistic and well done.

I think my absolute favourite part of this was either Regulus and just his reaction when he learned of his fathers death was just so real and your description and the details you chose to share where perfect or when Sirius was saying goodbye to his father. It made me really feel with them and want them to succeed in this story. Also, i think it displayed how much Orion was loved by everyone and how much this death was going to hurt everyone.

I really love reading this story because the characters are so recognizable even if they are put into a completely different tale. Everyone you wrote, Mrs. Weasley and Kreacher especially, just seemed like themselves.

Your prose here is really lovely and everything you write i feel right with the character. There were times i wanted more detail but i was just really impressed with how much emotion and feeling your got across with just a few strokes. Less can be better and i think it really worked here for sure. Everything felt really present.

and finally JAMSIE WAMSIE!!! I'm excited about this part and i love that they come charging into the scene all dimple cheeked and wide eyed. I liked that image a lot for some reason. I also couldn't help but think of Lion King here with Scareface and Crooked Face and their warning to Sirius. It reminded me of the hyena's (which isn't too surprising as LK is based on Hamlet :P)

I really loved this so please go and write a new chapter:P ! This is excellent!

Author's Response: Regulus is a fan favorite it seems. You'll want to hug him lots during this fic, so I hope you're ready.

Even-numbered chapters are mostly focused on Sirius, so maybe that's why Cygnus felt a bit flat. I'll take a look at it and see if there's anything I can add to make you connect with him more. The chapters that focus more on him, we get to see a sense of what he's thinking. I think with this chapter, I was trying to show a side of him that the other characters see, but I guess his true self got lost a bit.

The boys are just so sweet, aren't they? It's rough, having already lost their mother and to now lose their father. They've definitely grown up in a different environment than the one detailed in canon and that will affect them as they grow up. I'm glad you're rooting for them. Hopefully they'll grow up to be young men you can admire.

While this is an AU, I do want to maintain certain aspects of canon within my fic, so characterization is important for me. That's why you'll see a lot of canon characters but they won't be characters you won't be able to recognize.

This fic is a bit different stylistically for me, I think. Less lyrical/flowery prose and more straight-forward writing. I think it's effective here and I'm glad you think so too. Detail is something I'm working on, but I know that emotional writing is definitely a strength of mine that I use frequently.

Haha, yes, James! He's a lot of fun to write. A bit cocky, but he's a good kid. Ahaha, the Lion King may have been an inspiration for this...but I love that you're imagining the hyenas, that's great.

I'm really glad you're liking this, and I did write a new chapter! Now I need to catch up on on the rest of the chapters first.


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 487
Submit Report: