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Review:CambAngst says:
Hello, again. Back to read your latest chapter.

I'm enjoying this slow progression of Katherine falling out of love with Michael and being gradually drawn toward George. Even as the rest of her life has come crashing down around her, he's a constant presence. And she's finally realized that she shouldn't have pushed him aside. You're taking her through a pretty low place, but it's nice to see something akin to a light at the end of the dark tunnel she's in.

The breakup with Michael was nicely prefaced and pretty well executed. It feels almost as though the Quidditch match was the catalyst for something that had been a long time in coming. In a sense, that's sort of pathetic on his part, but Katherine has also been avoiding the inevitable for some time. It's hard to let go, even when you know that you must.

And now she's been thrown into detention, by a sparkly vampire, no less, ;) Should be an interesting evening between her and Lee. Perhaps he'll help her figure a thing or two out.

I thought your writing was a bit rougher in this chapter than it's been for the past several. I saw quite a few typos scattered about. Here are a few that I noted:

-- "She didn't anymore of his words;" - "She didn't hear any more..."?

-- "On which their futures career would ride on." - I think either the "on" at the beginning or the end needs to go.

-- "She stood up walking out of the Great Hall, so far it had been two days since she had last spoken to Michael." - This would probably read better as two sentences.

-- "Yes dear I make sure you down the correct path of life" - "want to make sure you go down..."?

-- "she stopped for moment as she heard footsteps" - "she stopped for a moment"?

-- "As much as I love you argue with you" - "love to argue with you?

-- "you I bought somethings at Zonko's that I'd love" - not really sure what this was supposed to be.

Overall, the story is still going in a great direct and I'm enjoying myself. I guess the most substantial constructive criticism I can give you is that I find myself wishing that the pace was just a bit faster. You have so many tantalizing plot threads hanging out there at this point. I'd like to see more of them progressing.

Good job on this! Looking forward to the next update.

Author's Response: Hello thanks again for the CC, I admit I didn't look for errors as thoroughly in this chapter and I'm so sorry I take so long to respond to your reviews!

I was going to leave the break-up for later but I admit I don't really like Michael :P Also I need for her to be in a low place for now, the pace'll quicken soon :) I'm happy your enjoying yourself with the story I'll hopefully be able to keep this story enjoyable.

Thank again for your reviews :)


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