Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap says:
Up the stairs. First door on your right

^ I have a bad feeling about this. Run Avrille. Run.

I hated myself for thinking it of a married man, but it was impossible not to notice how handsome Lucius was with his sleek blonde hair brushed back and shining against his black wool business robes.

^ No! Stop it! Not handsome. Anything but handsome. He is a toad. I feel sick reading this.

The other governors bade me offer their sincerest apologies to you and their wish to meet you some other time

^ What a dirty liar. If she seriously believes him, I swear. I'm about to skip this chapter if things keep going down like they are right now. I'm a bit repulsed and surprised she hasn't gotten up and left yet. Come on Avrille!

All of a sudden my mind went blank, then a feeling of combined euphoria and calmness stole my senses.

No! Are you serious? I can't believe this is happening to her. How dare he! He repulses me. Horrified. Words cannot describe my disgust right now. Who does he think he is?! I was certain there was something in her drink but no, I forgot all about magic and the dark arts.

Oh strong.

Lucius, sending him flying across the room to crash, I hoped extremely painfully, into the wall opposite. I jumped out of my chair, raised it in my hands, and threw it after him, missing his head by about two inches as it broke into pieces. Lucius stared up at me in disbelief as I advanced upon him, his arms held up protectively. He no longer looked the least bit handsome to me, his normally sleek blonde hair now a tangled mess covering his red face. I picked up a broken chair leg and jammed it into the floor dangerously close between his drawn up knees.

I'm not ashamed to say that I jumped in my seat and did a fist pump in the air because of this. Thank goodness. I mean, I know this is going to lead to terrible consequences because heís going to realize how strong she is and then because she bruised his large ego, he's going to probably dig up some dirt about her. Realize whom her father was and then because of her magic and her strength she's going to be a threat maybe or he's going to try and recruit her for the Dark Lord. Seems like something Lucius would do.

I yelled, not quite sure if I being sarcastic or not, and flung

You're missing a word here I think...'was.'

I thought I would eventually leave Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry without ever hearing Severus call me by my first name.

^ I was just on an emotional rollercoaster. Wow. What an ending. He finally said her name and is allowing Avrille to call him Severus. It's so sweet and all the anger and disgust I was feeling through the chapter was just washed away. I think I might be in love with Severus too.

I wonder if he'll find out about what happened. I think he might. He should. He was there obviously only to see if Avrille was alright. He didn't have any other business, which was what I expected, and I'm glad he met my expectations. Severus has never been one to sit idly by. I was glad that Avrille reprimanded herself and realized how naive she was being. Sometimes I forget that she's younger than Severus. That she has lived a sheltered life and is a very proper woman. Of course she wouldn't follow her gut to leave the situation because she didnít want to be rude. I think that's a big weakness with her. Of course we all have our weaknesses but I think she needs to realize that you can't and shouldn't have to please everyone.

Author's Response: Well, only having like a couple one-minute conversations with the guy, you can't blame Avrille for still thinking he's kind of hot. Hey, I'M constantly drooling over Jason Isaacs in the movies, before remembering myself and yelling at the screen like a lunatic, "NO! ALAN RICKMAN, I LOVE YOU!" (though, of course, he's not "my" Severus...)

I know I wrote the whole thing, but I wanted to smack Avrille myself for not leaving right away. But I have to remember that even when I was younger than her, I had a much better understanding of how dangerous the world is. She spent half of her life shut away at home being taught by her mom, then the rest of the time completely surrounded by women at school. Yeah, she's not a total idiot and knew not to drink something a virtual stranger gave her, but the thought just never crossed her mind that, "Hey, I can become a victim in this situation." She just assumed being so close to Hogwarts, one of the safest places in the world, nothing like that could happen.

Oh man, I loved writing that scene where she kicks the bejeezus out of him. I guess I wanted to show that even strong women become victims sometimes, but it's up to them whether or not they stay that way. I also wanted to make sort of a contrast between her weakness here at the beginning of the story and her role as a hero (you'll see!) at the end.

Don't worry too much about Lucius. Remember first and foremost, he's a coward. He lied and bribed his way out of Azkaban instead of being the dutiful Death Eater like Bellatrix and company. That's not to say that something like that won't happen in the future to Avrille, but it will be coming from another direction (and I haven't actually written it yet. Sequel fodder!)

It's funny how when I first started writing this story, I was actually younger than Avrille, so she seemed kind of grown-up to me. Now I'm several years older than her, so looking back I see more of her immaturity than I did at the time. It's weird how your perceptions of your own characters change. She definitely has a double weakness in this situation because she's always been desperate to please to distract people from her magical difficulties, and she also honestly believed Lucius was a friend of Severus's, so she didn't want to offend Severus unintentionally by blowing off his "mate." Well, now she knows better, right? Oh, and thanks so much for catching that missing word! Yeah, it was just "was." I think I *might* have noticed that in my original document, but maybe not. I'll definitely go check.

Hmm, I don't know I have any time to get any writing done now, but it was definitely fun to sit here and "chat" with you :) You're starting to get into some of my absolute favorite chapters, so I'm dying to hear your thoughts on them. I'm hoping in the end you like the story enough to try out the sequel, but certainly not expecting it because both stories as very long and a huge time commitment. But since I'm obviously working on the sequel now (um, in theory) having the insights of insanely perceptive, amazing readers like you is truly invaluable. I really can't thank you enough for your reviews. They totally lift my spirits up to the sky! If bedtime for the munchkin goes alright tonight, I am absolutely heading over to your page to read that Dudley story finally! ~Renny

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 753
Submit Report: