Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap says:
Dumbledore and I had had to act very quickly with the Aguamenti Charm to douse the pumpkins' candles before Hagrid's beard caught fire.

^ I could see that happening! Oh Hagrid.

The fact that Dumbledore had not been able to reanimate Filch's cat had unnerved all of us staff members, though very few of us would have admitted it out loud.

^ I'm so invested in the relationship of Severus and Avrille that sometimes I forget that you're following canon and that things are happening around them. For a second I did a double take and had to ask myself, what happened to Filch's cat?

I collapsed back at my desk, exhausted from the sheer effort it had taken to remain cool and composed in her close company.

He can brew complicated potions. He can join the Dark Lord. He can teach mediocre students and deal with Lockhart but when it comes to women, Severus Snape turns into a teenager. It's amazing the effect Avrille has on him! It's still lust at this point. I think a big part of his feelings, of his nervousness is the fact that Severus thinks he cannot have her. It's thrilling and exciting to so much as graze her skin or sit closer to her than he normally would because he knows nothing more will happen. For that, he reminds me of a hormonal teenage boy.

Lucius did not speak to me and did not acknowledge anyone who called to him.

^ What a child. Honestly. It's times like these that I feel bad for Draco.

Until tonight then, Avrille

^ Ugh. What a slime ball. You're making me despise Lucius and I actually like his character most of the time.

The anger and jealousy rolling off of Severus is fantastic. I like seeing him on edge. I can imagine him pacing his room back and forth wondering if he should go down to Hogsmeade and make sure nothing happens or just driving himself mad wondering what's going on but not going down because Avrille isn't anything more than a woman he has a thing for and his apprentice. Either way he's bound to do something given his reaction.

I do hope that nothing happens between Avrille and Lucius. He'll probably make a move. She'll excuse herself or make an excuse about being ill or something. I don't know. Another part of me feels like she might fall under his 'spell' if you know what I mean and then something could happen between them. I don't think she's convinced by Lucius though. I think he repulses her but I feel like she tries too hard to please people that she might accept his advances, only to a certain point of course.

Author's Response: It's hard for me to remember, having written this such a while back, but I probably had times where I forgot about canon as well. Probably going, "Oh right, I can't do that cause this, and this, and this is going to happen in the book." Forcing myself to stay within the frame work of the original book was both really helpful and also restricting sometimes. I was so mad when I read HBP and saw that my whole "Severus is a pure-blood" thing go out the window because I wanted the story to be completely seemless with canon. Oh well! I like to shoot for a good 90% at least. I've had to let a few canon things go as well in the new story since canon gets even more complicated as you go further into the series, and also introducing an OC main character is bound to change things.

You're so great at pin-pointing aspects of Severus's character. He's definitely still very much in that "crush" stage (though I feel weird using that word for a man) where you know nothing's going to happen...except that 1% of you that hopes a miracle will happen and the feelings will be reciprocated.

I really did slime up Lucius, didn't I? But honestly, next time you re-read the series, tell me if there's ANYTHING before Deathly Hallows that hints that he isn't. That's the only book where we really see him acting as a father and not a rich jerk or an evil Death Eater. Unfortunately I think a lot of times with money and power comes this sense of moral ambiguity with men. Lucius has always been giving or got for himself whatever he wanted. He's also just not a nice guy. In my mind, half of the reason he goes after Avrille is simply because he has a faint suspicion Severus might care about her and does it just cause he can.

Well, I know you already read past this chapter, so you know what happened, so I guess I'll move on as well to get these replies in before my kiddo wakes up. ~Renny


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 932
Submit Report: