I let my eyes follow the runaway strands as they slowly slid down her back and knew that the sudden rush of heat I felt had nothing to do with the climate of the hothouse.
Severus Snape, you sly dog. I have to honestly say I enjoy reading from Severus's point of view more than Avrille's. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the Avrille chapters but Severus is so calculating. He notices everything, he's very hypersensitive so when I read paragraphs of him noticing the way her dress clings to her body and a strand of hair that is falling from her bun and so on he manages to keep the beauty there while breaking her down as if she was a potion or a list of instructions that said, "Step one, notice how are arms and shoulders are bare..."
His internal struggle was really interesting to read in this chapter. You manage to give Severus so many different levels, dimensions. Every time I think I have figured him out there's a new though or a new revealation that astounds me. It's interesting to me that he realizes he would need Avrille to trust him in order to figure out why she canít do basic magic like everyone else can but then the thought of trying to get Avrille to trust him creates a block for him because of what he used to be.
I never realized how much Severus and Remus have in common. I think that's what hit me in this chapter even though Remus isn't even part of the story. They're both so self-deprecating and try to push women away because they consider themselves 'monsters.'
Severus has always been that character that takes everything to heart. He punishes himself for things he had done wrong years ago when he didn't know better, when he was a child and thought he was doing the right thing. Now he punishes himself when the right 'thing' or person comes along. Someone he could sincerely care for and he's trying to cast her aside because he doesn't think he's good enough or handsome enough or just enough because of who he was even though what really matters is who he is now.
I don't know how you write him! He has so many layers, trying to discuss them and comprehend them is draining!
Author's Response: It's so funny that you said you enjoy reading Severus's chapters more, because I've always found that I also prefer writing his. They just seem to come out more easily, which makes NO sense since Avrille was about my age when I started writing this, spent a lot of time in New England (I'm from there, so it should be easier to do her vocabulary and stuff, right?), plus she's a GIRL! I guess I just enjoy writing all the layers to him that you mentioned. That's not to say that Avrille is one-dimensional, but she's just much more open and honest about everything since she has almost nothing in her past that she's ashamed about.
I've never thought about the parallels between Remus and Severus, but you're so spot on with that observation. I think that part of Remus is what makes me like him while I hate the other Marauders. It's interesting that the parody story I'm working on right now has him as a main character since I was assigned him, and I'm also going to be playing on that sort of self-deprecation there. I'm sure writing Severus I was unconsciously influenced by my favorite book of all time, "The Phantom of the Opera." The main character, Erik, is obviously monstrous, yes because of his physical deformities but even more so from his sociopathy. He feels that he isn't worthy of the woman he loves, even though he gives her so much through his musical genius and has so many other good traits buried within him. Obviously Severus isn't that bad, but in his mind he is. He really doesn't think there is a greater crime than voluntarily following Voldemort, even if it was only for a few months, not to mention the crushing guilt he still feels for his unintentional role in Lily's death. Though in this story he wasn't in love with her, he still feels like he's a danger to any woman he cares about. It's really very sad :(
I guess I'm just so lucky that JKR is a literal genius and created such an amazing character for me to tweak a bit. He's still Severus, but a "what if this happened instead?" Severus. I'm so glad you're liking this story so much...and I THINK this was my 1,000th review!! THANK YOU A THOUSAND TIMES! Granted I think I lost a bunch years back in a server crash, but who cares! You made those four digits! Woo hoo! ~Renny