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Review:hedwigs_theme says:
Hi!

I'm here from my review thread :)


I enjoyed this chapter alot, you definitely worked hard to put alot of emotion into it.

Characterisation~ I think that you did well with this. Albus is not a character we know very well, since he is only metioned a couple of time in the epilogue. You have created him with a different personality to what I imagine him to have but it still works just fine. I think that you could have maybe described him a bit more.

Characterisation (OC)~ You described your OC better than Albus, but you could have described her more. You characterised her well (although it's hard for me to tell since she is an OC).

Plot~ Your plot seems good at the moment although obviously it's just the beginning of the story so it's hard to tell.


I really loved the flower bit :)

You did a great job so keep up the good work!

8.5/10

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your input!!

I was a little worried that Albus seemed too rude to be realistic, so that's why I asked you to look at characterization in my request. I am definitely going to edit the story after the queue reopens in July, and I will look into trying to describe them a little better.

Thank you for loving the flower part!! I love hair clips, and I thought it would be fun to add them in my story. :)


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