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Review:academica says:
Hey Maggie! I'm here with your requested review!

I thought this was very sweet, and a great way to show the love that you see between Dean and Luna. I really liked the flow of the piece, and I love that you numbered it so people could read it in chronological order or just as is (which is what I did). I wrote a non-chronological Snily for this same challenge, and now I kind of wish I had done the same thing, just to help my readers out.

I thought Dean was spot-on. We don't know him very well, but I think of him as being pretty logical and sensible and very loyal. It's just as you said - his Gryffindor spirit comes out in his bravery when it comes to defending someone that he loves. I felt like your characterization here reflected my head canon very well. Luna, though, I wasn't so sure about. There were times when I felt like you captured her perfectly, with her whimsical, matter-of-fact nature and gentle, soft way of speaking. However, I wasn't so sure about the parts where she's ranting and arguing with Dean. To me, Luna would be more likely to deal with conflict by shutting down and getting even quieter. Then again, that could just be my head canon again.

I thought the description here was good. I especially liked the beginning, when you were describing Xenophilius's house, and I also liked the comment you made about how anybody who lived through the war would understand wanting to do something impulsive because "life is short". I thought the dialogue between Dean and Luna's dad was good, and like I said earlier, I thought Luna's dialogue was perfect in her softer, kinder moments.

Overall, this really impressed me. It's the first Dean/Luna I can remember reading and I very much enjoyed it. Good luck in the challenge! :)

Great job. I hope this review is helpful!

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hi Amanda! Thanks so much for the review! And I have to admit that when I requested a review for this, I had totally forgotten you were in this challenge too. I'm so sorry about that, but I really appreciate you coming by anyway, despite my rudeness in asking you :/

I'm glad you like the way it flowed. I was pretty paranoid that it wouldn't be clear, but it's good that you were able to follow it. Your comments definitely help me feel more confident about that :)

I definitely see what you mean about Luna. She was pretty difficult for me to relate to, whereas Dean was effortless to write, and I think that showed in the end result. I'll definitely try to work on making Luna more believable when I write her again

I'm glad you liked the dialogue, especially between Dean and Xenophilius. I worked really hard on it, so I'm especially glad you enjoyed that part of it.

I'm glad you enjoyed this! Good luck to you in the challenge as well! And thanks again for your time. This review is definitely helpful :)

--Maggie


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