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Review:caoty says:
Hello, I'm here with your requested review. I'm going to say I don't usually read a lot of straight-up fluff, though, so I might not be much use.

The beginning, with your heavy use of imagery to describe the sunlight - which would, by the way, degenerate into purple prose at the hands of a lesser writer - is 'aww that's lovely', and then you realise that it's pathetic fallacy, which brings it up to 'brilliant'. It's extremely poetic. In fact, I think this fic as a whole could be converted into a poem very well. (That's a compliment, by the way.)

It's the little details that make this piece as good as it is, though. Neville's growing tummy, the seven minutes, the flowers everything about Delilah; there's a beauty in the small things, which you show well in this fic, and it adds to this overall sense of warmth and contentment you get from Hannah.
(Although, by the way, Macmillian has only one capital M. I'm pedantic, I know.)

I have a couple of tiny little critiques for you:
the soft, pale skin that coats my shoulder
was a little bit creepy, because it set me off on a tangent of imagining Hannah's skin being painted on the muscle and fat and so on. On a more serious note, I also think it could be interpreted as being a little bit narcissistic.
In addition, I'm not sure how surprised Hannah would be to learn that Neville is mostly normal - after all, she was in his year at Hogwarts, and therefore most of the time knew him as a forgetful, shy guy.
I don't think either of these things are too terrible, though, and I'm not sure that the second one isn't just my headcanon getting in the way.

The ending is just the most beautiful thing. The way you've introduced the ring as on the same level as one of those small details which make Hannah and Neville's relationship what it is, is fantastic, and a perfect ending to this lovely fic.

It was definitely a pleasure to read, and put a smile on my face, so well done. :)

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for coming by, and I'm really sorry that I've taken so long to respond to this.

Whoa, that is high praise - thank you! I always work hard on my imagery, and it was fun to play with the metaphor of sunshine and warm food for such a light, airy sort of piece.

Thanks for catching that about Ernie's name. I'm glad that most of the detail worked for you, though. The details are probably my favorite thing about writing.

Ooh, creepy is not what I wanted to convey, so thanks for pointing that out. (I think I was still thinking of the food metaphor, like she was a cake. Gosh, that is a bit creepy!) I think you've made good comments about Hannah's perception of Neville, too - I think I was thinking more from the mindset of her watching him pick up the sword of Gryffindor and slaughter Voldemort's pet snake, of his strong, defensive words at the final battle. Still, he should come off as a normal guy.

Thanks so much for this lovely review :)


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