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Review:magnolia_magic says:
Hi! I'm back with another review :)

So in my review for your prologue, I remember saying that I wanted more detail on Narcissa's character. I think you've done an excellent job with that here! I got a great feel for her character after reading this chapter. She's a girl with a lot of pride in her status, and yet doesn't approve of what the Death Eaters are doing. That's a really interesting combination, and I think it makes Narcissa a really intriguing character. The "list" at the beginning was a nice touch too: that's a really creative way of showing what makes Narcissa tick. And I love her explanation for not liking Death Eaters; the fact that they took her dad away from the family. Even at such a young age, she clearly has the family devotion that we see in the books, and I think that's another great touch. Good job with her!

I like Narcissa's friends too. Nixie and Narcissa seem to make a great team: Nixie's outgoing personality complements Narcissa's reserved one really well.

There were a couple spots where I got confused while reading, and I think a little more explanation would be really helpful. First of all, what does Nixie's comment about being "beautiful" have to do with pureblood status? I felt like I was missing the connection there, so you may want to explain that a little more thoroughly.

Also, if Nixie is so concerned with blood status, why would she be dating a half-blood? Does she just love him so much that his blood doesn't matter to her? I think a good place to address that would be when you're describing how they got together. I think that would help form a more complete picture and answer any questions readers might have :)

Once again, I love your descriptions of everything. You do a really good job of setting the scene and giving us a clear picture of the characters. I especially liked the line about Nixie looking like a "mischeiveous pixie." From what I've seen, that seems like a great way to describe her :D

I enjoyed this chapter, and I'm excited to see how the tension between Narcissa and Lucius plays out. Thanks for the request, and keep up the great work!

--Maggie

Author's Response: Thank you! Narcissa is one of my favorites!

You're right, that is a bit confusing. I'll have to edit up on that actually. What would I do without advice? :o

Thank you so much!! :)


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