It's wickedana from the HPFFF! And here is your review...
First thing is that I'm glad the first story I'm reviewing is a James and Lily one, because I ship them so hard, so this was great to read.
I enjoyed this prequel and I assure you that I'm going to read the story that follows this because I really liked how this was going.
I did my research and found this out about prequels and how they should be "Like sequels, prequels may or may not concern the same plot as the work from which they are derived. Often, they explain the background which led to the events in the original, but sometimes the connections are not as explicit. Sometimes, prequels play on the fact that the audience knows what will happen next, using deliberate references to create dramatic irony." (wikipedia)
And this basically summarizes what you did. Someone who has read the other part would understand what happened here better than me because they know all the future events.
BUT what you did was awesome.
As I was reading this I kept thinking that this is something that is happening way before the proper time, blah, blah, blah, I was getting distracted with that thought. Once I stopped considering that and read it like I would for any one shot, I felt like it was a regular story. But better. I understood what was going on and Lily's growing feelings. It left me wanting to know where things are heading between James and lily.
You do very subtle things in your writing to show characterization. Sure its third person but leaning towards Lily, I can still see James personality shine and his reactions towards what Lily says, tells me that's there's more behind him. The fact that he feels uncomfortable telling Lily about his family shows how he's developed or mature because he's no longer shooting comebacks at her but real solid dialogue. Its like he's realizing that he really likes this girl because he's telling her this much. We all now that James likes Lily but now we can pretty much state it as a fact!
Plus, I liked the way you made James witty (with the whole kittens and mistletoe thing, I wish they could have kissed.)
For lily, I thought she was too guarded. Like her thoughts were rigid. But taking into consideration that she's worry about meeting her sisters boyfriend and trying to get into her good side, changes things. I think once she started taking to James, she relaxed, which also tells the writers what feelings she may have for him.
For the description worry that you have, I have the answer. One of the things I like to think about when I'm writing is that, if I have too much dialogue, I won't have too much descriptions on what happening around the characters. I think you did a great job spending time on writing the dialogue and yet fitting in some description. I think that if you included more descriptions it would take away the flow from they're convo.
For me, when I was reading it, I liked the fact they were responding back to each other quickly instead of having the reader waiting.
For a one shot this was really good! AND I'm looking forward on reading "the light that never goes off" AND I hope this was helpful! :D
Author's Response: Hey! I'm really sorry it's taken me awhile to answer this - I was away for awhile and didn't really have access to the internet.
I'm glad that you liked this so much - I think that a lot of people might have the "this is happening too early" reaction, but my personal take on James and Lily is that there had to be some softening of feelings somewhere along the way before they started going out, and that seems to have happened pretty early into their seventh year, you know?
Thank you so much for your review, and again, I'm really sorry about the delay!