Okay, Beeezie. Iím ashamed that this is the first story of yours Iím reviewing. I do have a reason though, not a great one. I really canít read much Marauderís while Iím still trying to get down exactly what I want with Before They Fall, and that is what I want most to read of yours. Iím too afraid Iíll read someone so much better that ti will make me not want to write mine, or that Iíll accidentally use someone else's ideas. With that being said, I was excited when I saw your Status Update about this one shot, because I LOVE this era and figured a one shot couldnít hurt me too much.
This was amazing. My worst fears have come true and you did such a great job with Lily and James that I donít even want to touch them anymore. haha!
I think the fact that you had this in 6th year and already showing James start to change. Itís crazy when people have it go from them being brats to each other, to falling in love over night. This was the perfect prequel and it makes me even more excited to start A Light That Never Goes Out. I swear, the second I feel really confident in where my story is going, it will be the first one I start,
This was very smooth and each transition from dialogue to thought was perfect. You had their conversation a perfect balance between humor and serious. Lily didnít just blurt out what was bothering her the second that James asked. You showed them ease into the conversation, you had Lily clearly trying to hold back but really wanting to talk to him about it, then of course you keep James very Canon and remind us that he hasnít lost his playful personality with the mistletoe line ;). A guy can try, right?
You got Lilyís family and James both in this, which I love. We understand how old they are so their death that will take place between the next... 1-4 years makes perfect sense.
Your imagery was perfect, I felt like I was there with them but didnít have to read, ďLily moved her hand across the dark espresso table, her fingers touched the red placemat and began to fiddle with the loose seems of it.†She glanced from James to the wall 5.4 feet across from here where approximately six pictures hung..Ē Haha okay, you get it. Iím not sure if youíve ever read the Red Badge of Courage, I had to read it my senior year of High School and that author spent pages and pages on the tiniest detail to the point where I thought my teacher had assigned it to us as pure cruelty. Sorry for rambling, my point is over descriptions can kill a great story very quickly. Thereís a fine line between putting us there with the characters, and taking away every shred of imagination we could have used to fill in the story. You balanced that line perfectly.
The ending with Jane accusing Lily of wanting him.. it was perfect. I was cracking up. You broke us out of the seriousness and reminded us that this was a 16 year old girl, who was clearly beginging to have a crush.
I am so amazingly excited to read more of your work, Iíll have to browse through some of your Non M era, and then the second I can safely read A Light That Never Goes Out, I will.
Amazing job, gorgeous!
Author's Response: Don't be ashamed! That's a perfectly valid reason to not want to read Marauders era fics - when I'm still figuring out characters, I absolutely avoid fics that feature them.
I'm really, really glad that you like this one, though. I love James/Lily, and I had a lot of fun with this fic. I've never really favoured the interpretation of Lily as hating James up until they started going out - it had to be a process, you know? I'm somehow not shocked that you agree with me, though. ;)
I'm always worried about my description - when I first started writing, I really didn't have enough description, and I've tried to improve on that. I'm glad you felt like it struck a good balance - that's exactly what I was going for.
Thank you so much for your review! I hope that you like A Light That Never Goes Out just as much. :)