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Review:DracoFerret11 says:
Hello there! This is DarkRose from the forums here to review for you! :D So, let's go over things:

Grammar/Spelling: Okay. So...I noticed a lot of places where you had grammar errors or mild spelling mistakes. They broke the flow of the chapter up a bit. I would suggest going to the beta-offered section of the forums and seeing if somebody could do a read-through of your story. I personally think betas are a great help. They catch the mistakes that we accidentally overlook. ;]

Characterization: All right! Yeah! A Dramione! Woooh! So, we've got Hermione and Draco in this chapter. It was a bit uncharacteristic for Hermione to be running so late. I might suggest explaining why she wasn't on time. And then Draco...oh, Draco. He's such a handful. You'll want to watch out for making him too nice, too quickly. I was really surprised that he helped Hermione, but I sensed that maybe even he was surprised. I'll watch for really out-of-character actions from the two of them. It's a trap that we Dramione writers can fall into easily. :P

Descriptions: I love ranting about details. :D So, what I tell every writer that I review for is this--when you describe things, you have the chance to really bring readers into the story. So tell us what things look like, but not only that, what do the sound like, smell like, feel like, etc.? Those details can make a story wonderfully realistic.

Emotions: Here's a place you can add in descriptions! Was Hermione nervous about talking to a former Death Eater? Etc. I liked that you mentioned that Draco seemed miserable about his past. That's a great way to set up the rest of the story.

Plot: Well, this was a pretty straight-forward chapter. I'm interested to see what happens next. I'm really excited to be reading a Head Girl/Boy story. I haven't read one of those in years, it seems! (I have my own like that, actually, but it's my "Hermione-as-Head-Girl and Theodore-Nott-as-Head-Boy" Dramione that I love the most. :D ) ANYWAY. So...I like the beginning of this. We'll see if we keep away from some of the cliches in this story. Though, I honestly don't have many problems with cliches. They're done a lot because they work. So...Hermione's running late in this chapter and then Draco helps her get on the train. I'm really confused as to why he helped her at all, but I'm interested to see him explain it as I expect he'll do later. This is bound to be an interesting story. :D

Interactions: The conversation between Draco and Hermione was so beautifully awkward. I loved it. I might have liked to see more tension, though. They've both been through a lot in the war, I'd suggest that you remember to address that. :]

So far, so good! I'm interested to see what happens next. The story seems relatively believable for now. You haven't lost me yet. :] I'll review again soon!


Author's Response: Thank-you so much for your feedback! I'll definitely get my story Beta'd :)

As you read on you will see that Hermione and Draco are both affected by the war, the reason she was a little late, as you will find out later is because of the nightmares she has at night.

And the first chapter, him being too nice, won't continue for long, it was sort of a instinct for him to save her, even he didn't know why he did, im going to get into more detail about that in later chapters, so that it makes sense :)

I'm so excited to hear what you have to say about the rest :)
I sort of think it's quite different from other Dramonie, as you will see later on ;)
The only thing that's fairly cliche' is the whole head boy/head girl thing! :)


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