Well, I couldn't resist reading this one because I'm a shamelessly rabid Snape fan, and if I can't have him with my OC I made up, I want him to be with Lily, darn it!
"His gut twisted uncomfortably, and he felt guilt rising like bile up his throat." --I love how you make him so honorable, even in death. Severus is such a wonderfully complex character to read about and attempt to write. I think he probably punished himself so much worse than anything Voldemort could have done to him.
I love how you have Severus hovering somewhere between life and death. If you believe in an afterlife, you tend to think that you're alive, you die, then you reawaken somewhere else in that order and with those precise steps. But what if the spirit world is more fluid than ours? I think JKR certainly hints at that with the scene of Harry talking to his mother with the Resurrection Stone. The idea of Severus slipping into "heaven," then his body pulling him back to life but tricking him to think he's still with Lily before his dying brain correctly forms the vision to be of Harry instead is really so interesting.
I always wondered what would happen in heaven if someone's spouse died then they remarried. Would they then have two spouses in heaven? Would they all share? Would it not matter because heaven would operate in a way we could never even comprehend, like being with each spouse separately at the same time? But I guess you've solved this neatly with some James and Sirius slash, which I have no problem with since I hated both those characters, so good riddance to them in my mind.
"...and in that moment he knew nothing but truth and love as she pressed her lips to his." OH SQUEE! That's why I love reading Snape/Lily stories! They're always just so swoon-tastic.
Well, from reading two one-shots of yours now, it's clear that you have a definite talent for packing emotion into a very small package. If I just scan down the page, it doesn't look like a lot of words, but reading it feels like reading something three times as long (in a good way! :D) I'm always very jealous of writers who are able to do that. I don't write many one-shots at all, so I haven't had much practice myself. But this was a really nice one-shot, very gratifying for the Snape-lovers out there who were totally bummed out by the way "Deathly Hallows" ended. Looking forward to reading more of your stuff! I think I'm going to try something with chapters next to see how you write in a different format. Great job! ~Renny
Author's Response: I heard you were a Snape fan so I was a little wary to see what you thought of my interpretation of Snily. I suppose I didn't have much to worry about.
I love Snape's character and he is so complex, which makes him difficult to write, sometimes (I think). I'm sure he punished himself for everything he had done, worse than what anyone could have done to him. To love someone so deeply to sacrifice so much..it's just, wow.
The afterlife is kind of interesting. I'm not much of a religious person, but I kind of like the idea that there's something waiting for us after life. You've pretty much nailed my ideas of the afterlife in your comments, and I love that other people understand what I wanted to convey. Snape is kind of in limbo, a bit, with Harry there but he thinks it's Lily and then slipping into the real afterlife to be with the woman he gave up everything for. So romantic.
That's actually a good question. When I started my afterlife 'verse, it was always meant to be a James/Sirius fic and sending Lily to be with Snape solved that problem for me, but here...it's James/Sirius that opens up Lily to be with Severus, finally.
It's funny because the two most recent one-shots that you've read are the shortest ones I've writtten in a long time. Actually, Into the Darkness of the Grave IS the shortest fic I've ever written. I tend to be wordy so it's definitely been an interesting challenge to condense my fics and pack more emotion into fewer words. For the longest time, I thought I had to maintain a certain word count but now I don't care, and I'll stop when I want to stop and I feel the story is complete, regardless of how many words I've used (well, as long as it's more than 500, of course).
Chaptered fics are a bit different, that's for sure. I'm not sure what I have on my page that might interest you since I'm mostly a Remus or Sirius writer. But feel free to take a gander and review what you like. I'd love to hear back from you. Thanks for your review and giving my Snily some love. :)