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Review:Live Life Large says:
Hey Linn! Sorry this took so long, I was on holiday and didn't want to write a three line, rushed review(;

First off, good job with incorporating the challenge! The quote you got was harder to work with than a lot of the others because it wasn't very specific, but you managed to pull it off brilliantly(:

This was also very interesting to read. The way you portrayed Lily was refreshing, because I'm so used to reading the fiery, off-the-handle, possibly psycho girl instead of the kind of careful, yet still daring character I read here. I quite liked it, and thought it was more realistic.

The last bit was hilarious. Though I do want to point out one thing: you didn't really specify that it was the Ministry workers who were swooning, and though I understood it, it could be potentially confusing.

One last tip: on the rare occasion, you'd include an action of one person's with the dialogue of another's in a way that was a bit confusing. For example,
"'C’mon, Soph, we’ve had enough ‘bonding time’ with my little sis and her friend.' Lily yelled after him.

'I’m not little!'"

You may want to think about revising it so that it can be clearer what Lily shouted. Maybe something like-

"'C’mon, Soph, we’ve had enough ‘bonding time’ with my little sis and her friend.'

Lily yelled after him, 'I’m not little!'"

Besides those two minor points, this was spot on(: It was entertaining, fit the challenge well, and there was plenty of dialogue, which I happen to enjoy quite a bit. By the way, I like the end note(;

Thanks for entering my challenge!
Live Life Large(:

Author's Response: Hi, Rylan! Nah, it's okay, I really don't mind - the extra long review /definitely/ makes up for it :) You're too sweet - I knew that I wanted Ravenclaws and Lily Potter, and that was pretty much it, so I'm glad it turned out well.

I adored Lily in this one - same as you, I'm always used to her being fiery and sassy, so writing her as being a little more careful with what she did, and still getting into trouble (because it's the Potter way :p) was a nice change for me.

Did I not mention that? Darn. I'll have to go back and fix that - still, I'm glad you understood it. I /do/ have that habit, don't I? Even I've noticed it popping up a lot, so someday soon, I might go back and fix this.

You gave me such a lovely, long review, so thanks - and I really enjoyed writing this for your challenge :) See you around at the forums!

- Linn


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