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Review:BoOkWoRm24 says:
Hi here for the review battle.

So I thought that this was an interesting beggining to a story. From the very first line you had me hooked, saying out right that Bill was going to die.

Your characterization was excellent. Everything Bill did directly reflected the maturity of little kid. Things you put in there like how Bill was infuriated by Charlie going after his ice cream painted his character really well.

Also I liked the character you made out of Babbling Balida. She seemed very much like the stereotypical witch that you might associate with Halloween except she didn't have green skin.

Grammar, and spelling were both good. The one thing that bugged me was the wording of this sentence:

"Her face was almost all wrinkles, so old was she"

I know that putting the she after the was is used as a literary device sometimes, and technically there is nothing wrong with it, but it came off as kind of awkward to me.

Anywho great first chapter

-Liz

Author's Response: I can see why that line would be awkward. Thanks so much for everything else!

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