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Review:academica says:
Hi Jane! I'm here with your requested review :)

This is a great one-shot. I love how you've taken the theme of sibling rivalry, which almost everyone can relate to, to the extreme. The line about how Percy stands between the great and the ordinary was perfect - he has to be better than his elder brothers, or at least on par with them, but he's also responsible for teaching his younger siblings. I can easily see how someone under that kind of pressure would strive to achieve greatness, whatever the cost. I can also see how influences like fame and acceptance could poison that person.

I liked the parenthetical thoughts, too. Again, I think under that kind of pressure, someone probably would have the metaphorical angel and devil on either shoulder, telling him or her how right or wrong each decision is and adding to the pressure. In the end, Percy gave up everything in pursuit of his dream, even himself. When it was time to pick up the pieces, he had so little left.

I loved your imagery, especially your references to the dust and the whimpering world. I didn't see any technical issues, though I didn't expect to see any, and I thought the flow was very nice here.

Awesome work! I hope this review is helpful :)


Author's Response: Bonjour! :3 I've said this many times, especially in responding to these reviews, but I do think I'm a lot like Percy, sibling rivalry included. He's just... gah. He's /me/. :P And it was really easy to get into his head and try and figure out his motivations, which I think is part of the reason this story came to my fingers so quickly. I was basically writing a warning for, well, myself.

Ooh, I totally, totally love that idea of the metaphorical devil/angel -- I know now that's totally what I was thinking of, even though I never articulated it. You're brill! :)

Thanks so much for being willing to do this, and I'm happy you liked the story! Hope to see you around soon! ♥

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