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Review:FallenAmaranth says:
Oh my gosh! I love this, it's so sweet!
I really want your vocabulary, it's great and well varied.
I think the flow is fine, I was never once confused and I don't think it needs anything else to make it better. There was nothing I could spot that would need cutting - It was perfect.
As for characterisation, I love Dean's character, he fitted with what I expected of him from the canon and his relationship with Luna was, although quite different/unexpected, really really sweet and realistic.
Luna was well written, not quite as dreamy but still just as quirky as always. I loved it when she concluded that Dean was immune to Nargles. Brilliant.
As for Xenophilius, he was simply perfect. How he seemed so haggard and lost without his daughter, yet cleaned himself up at the slightest spark of hope that she would visit. I could almost feel his pain at losing his daughter, since I figure she's the only person he has had after her mother died.
It was beautifully written and, as I said, you have a lovely wide vocabulary.

--Fallen

Author's Response: Hi Fallen! Thank you so much for this fantastic review, and for getting here so quickly!

I'm really glad you like the vocabulary. That's something I've been working on, and I'm so glad it came out here! Also, I'm glad you like Dean. I loved writing from his POV, and I was really hoping people would like him as much as I do :)

He came easily, but Luna was more difficult, and I'm glad to hear that you like how she came across. And the Nargle comment is actually my favorite part of this :) I'm also glad you liked Xenophilius, and that you saw everything I tried to get across with him.

Thanks for clearing up some of my concerns about flow. I was worried it would be confusing, but I'm glad you didn't feel that way :)

Thanks so much, again! Sorry for the super long response, but I'm just really excited that you liked it :) I really appreciate your time and comments.

--Maggie


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