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Review:phoenix9279 says:
Beautifully (re)written chapter. Amazing to see your writing improve this drastically during the rewrite.

Author's Response: Thank you for the compliment on The Funerals. My beta rejected this chapter as incomplete, and I owe her a huge debt of gratitude for turning what was a rather ordinary chapter into something pretty special. I write pathos pretty well, but needed her to point out that I needed to expand the chapter.

A word on how we write. Maybe 5% of the actual words are written or rewritten by LadymBlack. She has taken several small sections that one of us was unhappy with and re-written them, vastly improving them. And she is excellent at canon, and at punctuation and grammar. I think her biggest contribution, however, has been to tell me when I needed to go back to the drawing board, to add or change a scene or section.

In this case the part with the shrouds, the expanded scenes at the graveyard, Corriander, all were added by me, but after she suggested that I needed more of that type of thing.

Sometimes these things delay the publishing of chapters. I am in the midst of rewriting 14 and have added Michael and Rosemary's wedding, but have a major rewrite of 13 to do, again because of LadymBlack's very valid "you can do better than that" suggestion, that I have not been able to get to. The inspirations for the changes to 14 came; the changes to 13 are going to be work.

Jet


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